Hitomi The Negotiator
It is a dark and stormy night. Protoman Blues can be seen walking out of his Sex Shack in a black trench and a fedora.
“It was the chance of a lifetime. An expansion so grand, it could only be imagined by Quest or Venture-like super scientists. This city, no, this world is in need of what I have to offer them. However, a project of this magnitude would take more than a simple bottle of Mango Lemonade to pay off. It would require a substantial price, some careful bargaining, but most of all, it would require dealing with...her.”PB’s can see Hitomi’s Shack of Weaponry in the distance.
“Hitomi Agada. A negotiator of the highest caliber, with eyes that can pierce into wallets and strip them clean before the contract has even been signed. Since her brother was the one who made me the offer, there was no choice but to go through her. I wish there was another way, but despite everything I’m about to go through, I’m always excited to deal with the best of the best in any field.”PB walks into Hitomi's Shack of Weaponry
Hitomi Agada - “You’re late, PB!”
Protoman Blues - “Had to make sure my shack was looked after.”
Hitomi Agada - “Checking if all your guests are lovin' properly?”
Protoman Blues - “That’s PBPB’s job. You know that better than anyone!”
Hitomi Agada - “Okay, enough small talk. Let’s get down to business. And if you start taking off your pants, I’ll chop it the [tornado fang] off!”
Protoman Blues - *taking off coat* “Business first and pleasure later, my dear. Isn’t Yoshi here?”
Hitomi Agada - “I’m handling negotiations. His presence isn’t needed here!”
Meanwhile, on the moon...
Tsuyoshi - *working on the Wellington MkII while wearing sunglasses* “I hope she gets me that bottle of Mango Lemonade.”
Back at the Shack...
Hitomi Agada - “You think my brother would do this for you for a single bottle of Mango Lemonade?”
Protoman Blues - “Three bottles?”
Hitomi Agada - “Get the hell out of my shack!”
Protoman Blues - “Only kidding, of course. Now look, what about the Wii that Lou owes you?”
Hitomi Agada - “If this was a simple upgrade, that might be acceptable. But we’re also allowing you the area where it will be, so a Wii is still not enough.”
Protoman Blues - *drinks Mango Lemonade* “How about a lightsaber?”
Hitomi Agada - *drinking Vodka Martini* “...you do realize you’re in a shack of [tornado fang]ing WEAPONRY, don’t you?”
Protoman Blues - “Still, this one says “Bad [chameleon sting]er” on it.”
Hitomi Agada - “...not good enough.”
Meanwhile at Lou’s Training Ground, Lou is sparring against Flame, Fxeni, and Jericho...
Flame - “Lou, you okay? Why’d you stop?”
Ninja Lou - “...I don’t know. I just have this funny feeling that something bad is about to happen.”
Fxeni - “Like a Spider-Sense?”
Ninja Lou - “...More like an [dark hold]-Sense...”
Jericho, Flame, & Fxeni look at each other...
Jericho - “PB?”
Flame - “PB!”
Fxeni - “Definitely PB!”
Back at the Shack of Weaponry...
Protoman Blues - “...That wasn’t part of the deal, Hitomi. Nor was giving Lou to this Bounty Hunter!”
IG-88 - “HEL.LO!”
Hitomi Agada - “I am altering the deal. PRAY I don’t alter it any further!”
Protoman Blues - “...Okay, so here’s the offer so far. I get the place and the space, and in return Lou gets you a Lightsaber, your own Valkyrie, and a Wii, and I will get you some of his DNA so you can create Nocturne Lycan Ninja Laura! Also, IG-88 here gets to take Ninja Lou, dead.”
IG-88 - “ACTUALLY. I. NEED. HIM. ALIVE.”
Hitomi Agada - “Don’t forget, Yoshi & I have free access to the place at all times, whenever we want!”
Protoman Blues - “Well, I thought that went without saying. Besides, when have I ever cheated you before?”
Hitomi Agada - “Your cheap ass prize for that Pokemon tournament, and then there was the...”
Protoman Blues - “Okay okay. Point taken. Well, I believe that’s everything. Anything else?”
Hitomi Agada - “No. These terms are acceptable. Negotiations are over.” *shakes PB’s hand*
Protoman Blues - *shakes Hitomi’s hand* “Deal. Oh man, I can’t wait!”
Hitomi Agada - “You can and you will, actually. Construction of this magnitude will take time!”
Protoman Blues - “Well I know I’ve hired the right person! Pleasure doing business with you! Here’s a complimentary bottle of Mango Lemonade as well. Later!” *grabs coat and walks out as Hitomi beams back to the Moon*
Back on the Moon...
Tsuyoshi - *working on the Wellington MkII while wearing sunglasses“ So how’d it go?
Hitomi Agada - “He agreed to it. Here’s your bottle.” *tosses Mango Lemonade to Yoshi*
Tsuyoshi - *catches it without looking* “Thanx. Get anything for yourself?”
Hitomi Agada - “Just some odds and ends!”
Back at the Shack...
IG-88 - “...SO....I'LL. JUST. WAIT. FOR. LOU. HERE, THEN!”
The opening italic speech of this is meant to be PB's inner monologue as he's walking towards Hitomi's. Sort of like Big O. Hell, that's what I was listening to as I was writing it. Very noir-ish. Either way, it figures that a negotiation between Hitomi & myself, involving Yoshi & Lou, would consist of us making deals without either of them present. Also, IG-88 for no reason!
What did I just make a deal for though? You'll have to wait and see to find out!
