A Common Sense of Justice
In the RPM Court Hall of Justice, the honorable Judge DominicanZero presides over a case...
CephiYumi - *holding up a picture of PB’s right leg covered in hot soup* “...and as you can see in Exhibit R here, my client’s leg was scalded by the hot soup. The evidence is clear, ladies and gentleman of the jury. There was no warning of any kind that my client would be harmed, in any way, by eating the bowl of Sourdough Bread before having the Chicken soup inside of it. When people see bread on the table, they eat it. As I stated earlier, the statistical chart, which I displayed as Exhibit K, shows that more people eat the bread before the meal itself, be it soup, salad, appetizer, and the majority of entrees out there, like chicken, steak, salmon, and so on. The emotional damage that Protoman Blues has suffered due to this event just...well it just breaks my heart. No one should have to suffer through this kind of trauma, simply because restaurants are not putting clear warnings that when ordering Soup in a Bread Bowl, one should not eat the bread first. That is why we respectfully ask that you allocate him the sum of $25 Million Dollars to help him get through this. I trust you will make the right decision. Thank you.”
Protoman Blues - *as Cephi sits down next to him* “You know, I think that went very well.”
DominicanZero - *stunned in utter disbelief* “.....You need to get the [tornado fang] out of my courtroom right now. NEXT [tornado fang]ing CASE!” *bangs gavel loudly*
Moments later, outside the court room...
CephiYumi - “I’m so sorry, PB. I did my best.”
Protoman Blues - *hugs Cephi* “Oh don’t worry, Cephi. I had this bet with Quickie that I could get a quick $25 Million doing something stupid. I lost. Looks like I’m her slave tonight.”
CephiYumi - “S-Slave?”
Protoman Blues - *gets out wallet* “Never you mind. Now, here’s what I owe you for your services today. I really appreciate you doing this for me.”
CephiYumi - “It was no trouble at all. I had no other cases today, and I was kinda bored. You didn’t even have to pay me.”
Protoman Blues - “Nonsense. I always pay what I owe, no matter what. Also, here are some free passes to SexStation 2069. Come on up when you get some free time!”
CephiYumi - “Oh neato. I can’t wait to see it....the STATION I mean. I can’t wait to see the station!” *blushes*
Protoman Blues - “Hehe, silly! Catch you later.” *teleports out*
Later that night, in Quickie’s office at Greedo’s Cantina, a mysterious figure is using the control panel on Quickie’s desk, after tipping it over and removing the glass from the top. The Carbonite around Ninja Lou starts to glow, and after a while, he is free.
Mysterious Figure - “Relax. You’re free of the Carbonite.”
Ninja Lou - *shivering slightly* “I-I can’t see.”
Mysterious Figure - “The lights are off right now. Hang on...” *turns the lights on*
Ninja Lou - *rubbing eyes* “I still can’t see.”
Mysterious Figure - “Oh right, the hibernation sickness. That’ll pass.”
Ninja Lou - “How long?”
Mysterious Figure - “I don’t [tornado fang]ing know. Look, it’s not permanent. Your eyesight will return. Quit being a baby...”
Ninja Lou - *puzzled* “I m-meant how long have I been frozen?”
Mysterious Figure - “Ohhh. About 2 weeks or so.”
Ninja Lou - “B-b-bastards. Where am I?”
Mysterious Figure - “What is this, twenty questions? I can see why she froze you. You’re in Quickie’s office! She was using you as a table. Anything else?”
Ninja Lou - *really puzzled* “Umm...w-who are you?”
Mysterious Figure reveals herself to be Asena...
Asena - “Someone who thinks PB is an Ass!”
Ninja Lou - “Asena. Oh thank yo...wait, why did you rescue me?”
Asena - *facewing* “Listen, can we just go already? It’s getting late, I’ve gotta help Dr. Wily out in a couple hours, and I’ve still gotta shower, do my antenna and everything. You were on the way, OKAY?”
Ninja Lou - *shivering and kinda sad* “Okay.” *grabs Asena and begins to teleport away* “...I don't owe you a Wii for this, do..” *teleports away*
Minutes later as PB & Quickie enter the room kissing each other...
Quickie - *kissing PB then sees her office* “HEY! What the hell happened to my table?”
Protoman Blues - *wearing a Leia Slave Girl Bikini and chain around his neck* “Hmmmmm, someone must’ve freed Lou. Bummer! Now where are we going to do it?”
Quickie - “TO THE RANCOR RAVE CAVE OF JUBILATION!” *pulls on PB’s chain*
The next day at PB’s Sex Shack...
Protoman Blues - *rubbing neck* “Uhhh...what a night.” *touches intercom* “Hold my calls today, ChAAAAAHHHH” *a Shuriken pierces PB’s hand as Ninja Lou appears on his desk*
Ninja Lou - *brandishing swords* “YOU PIECE OF [parasitic bomb]! YOU’RE DEAD!”
Protoman Blues - “I’ve got two tickets to the Yankees postseason game coming up!” *holds up tickets with non-shurikened hand*
Ninja Lou - “They made the postseason? Awesome.” *puts away swords* “What time do we have to be there?”
Protoman Blues - “I’d say 6. Meet me here Wednesday around 5?”
Ninja Lou - “Definitely. I’ll see you then. I’m catching a foul ball this time! You’ll see!” *before teleporting away, throws another shuriken at PB’s leg*
Protoman Blues - *pulling shurikens out of body* “......totally worth it!”
A silly example of how my twisted mind works. This GoRPM was spawned from a combination of silly ideas in my head, as well as a somewhat conclusion to the Ninja Lou in Carbonite part. I was in a sammich shop on Saturday and saw Soup in a Bread Bowl on the menu. So, I got to thinking, I wonder if anyone could actually sue for eating the bread first, like an idiot. Then I had an image in my head of Cephi in the Phoenix Wright pose yelling SUBJECTION for no real reason, other than I think it's funny. And well, there we are.
Be sure to catch the adventures of CephiYumi: Attorney at Awwwwwwwwwww, coming up next on PIX11, the new home of the CW.
