Make a Wish and have it horribly corrupted, RPM Edition!

[Gaia]

Granted, but she turns out to be that annoying turd you hate so much. 

I wish for a skateboard.

[borockman]

Granted, but you can't ride it anyway.

I wish I can eat good BBQ right now.

[Police Girl]

Granted, one BBQ grill coming up, its a George Foreman.

I wish my computer wasn't shitty.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, it's now poopy.

I wish for some new ideas.

[Rad Lionheart]

You got new ideas, sadly they're all pathetic ideas and you should be ashamed of yourself! D:

[Trask]

Granted.  You get nothing!  Good day, sir!

I wish for a better week next week.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, now the subsequent weeks are going to be hell.

I wish for some oranges.

[Akamaru]

Granted, but you got buried under the mountain of oranges.

I wish for some apples.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, but they are all crawling with worms.

I wish for some cake.

[Ninja Lou]

Granted ... something badgers.

.. wish ... something badgers. 

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, the badgers are now Bidoofs.

I wish moar ppl wood liek mudkipz.

[Police Girl]

Granted but they grow old of leiking mudkipz and start leiking squirtlez.  +

I wish my Geass mod would be done sooner.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, but it's full of bugs and glitches.

I wish for more anime.

[Jericho]

Granted, but in order to keep up with production for you, most of them jump the shark halfway through.

I wish if I could intern with a game developer or studio.

[Police Girl]

Granted, but you only get to work on the paperwork.

I wish I could sprite.

[Pringer X]

Granted, but now you can't use a computer anymore.

I wish I could read Japanese and English.

[Police Girl]

Granted, but you lose the ability to learn other languages.

I wish I was a faster Poster.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, but now, you can't get your sentences out right.

I wish for some ice-cream.

[Gaia]

Granted, but it melts on your laptop.

I wish I had a cat that played Video Games.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, but now that cat is beating you at every game.

I wish that there were no more exams.

[Police Girl]

Granted, you have the I.Q of a rock.

I wish my cat would stop biting me.

[Dr. Wily II]

Granted, now your cat is clawing you.

I wish I had a cat.

[Police Girl]

Granted, you get my cat.

I wish my cat wasn't so mean.

[Gaia]

Granted, you get my cat.

I wish my cat wasn't so mean.

Granted, but.. well, now she's UBER evil.

I wish I had a cat to help me on my studies.

[Police Girl]

Granted, but.. well, now she's UBER evil.

I wish I had a cat to help me on my studies.

Fix'd and...
Granted, but you get bitten in the hand when you try to write.

I wish winter didn't come yet.