Make a Wish and have it horribly corrupted, RPM Edition!

[Sparky]

Granted. They hate you and maul you do death.


I wish the Crimson DS lite wasn't discontinued.

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  They now burn after exposure to air.

I wish they did an entire episode of Venture Bros. devoted to Shore Leave and OSI.

[Solar]

Granted, but it's only aired once, you miss it, your ways of recording it are broken and for some reason no one else in the world recorded it.

I wish for pizza.

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  It's Little Caesars.

I wish I had a real Sword of Omens.

[Sparky]

Granted. Mum-Ra came with it, too.


I wish I didn't need Gametap to play American McGee's Grimm

[Solar]

Granted, but now you have to pay $100 for it.

I wish for a Netnavi.

Granted.  It's Little Caesars.

Ooh, thanks

[Trask]

Granted, but it's infected with the Zero Virus.

I wish for a good movie.

[Quickman]

Granted.  It is the most awesome movie ever, with the best storyline, superb acting, twists and turns all around.  The special effects are spectacular, the music is moving, and the ending leaves audiences stunned.  But it's only shown for a very limited time in select theatres.  And your theatre isn't one of 'em.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  As a man starts to eat you, you realize what a horrible lie that song really is!

I wish I could direct an orchestra.

[Ninja Lou]

Granted, at your 1st show you are attacked by badgers.

I wish I had a Good NYC slice pizza. Just cheese, sauce, and bread

[Solar]

Granted, but you MUST share with me if you want it.

I wish for stuff.

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  Stuff comes with West Nile Virus.

I wish I could cure all disease.

[Trask]

Granted, but you're the disease AND you're the cure.

I wish I was better at Math.

[Ninja Lou]

Granted, but every time you pick him you are attacked by badgers.

I wish I had some highly trained attack badgers... and a tiger (also highly trained).♠

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  An untrained Raptor comes and kills them, and you.

I wish I didn't see Repo.

[Solar]

Granted, but it is somehow burnt into your mind anyways.

I wish I had more time to play games.

[Quickman]

Granted.  Your life is wasted from playing games.

I wish "select theatres" would also mean theatres in my area...

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  They only show crap like Repo.

I wish I could have those 93 minutes of my life back.

[Quickman]

Granted.  Those 93 minutes are promptly wasted on something else that sucks.

I wish there was a decent public transit system around here.

[Protoman Blues]

Granted.  You soon learn to hate the public that rides it.

I wish Quickie was riding me right now!   

[Solar]

Granted, you turn into a horse and she starts riding you towards the sunset...

I wish for whatever the next poster wants to.

[Quickman]

Granted.  Enjoy your week's vacation in accounting hell!

I wish for a better wish to corrupt.

[Ninja Lou]

Granted, but you are attacked by badgers.

I wish I had a device to control time and space, also a lightsaber, a VF-25, a magic Katana, and a can of cherry coke.

[Quickman]

Granted.  That knowledge rips a hole in the space-time continuum, destroying everything in one fell swoop, including the lightsabre, VF-25, and magic katana.  The cherry coke was flat and room-temperature.

I wish I had the entire Dalek Empire series right now, rather than download it in chunks.

[Ninja Lou]

Granted, but it was put together by a badger that just attacked PB.... so it doesn't make sense.

I wish this I could come up with something better then badgers.