Oh, I can still complain, but now I have much less reason to.
Thanks Tai. This and Broken Steel have made this morning awesome.
Posted on: May 05, 2009, 08:44:07 AM
Whoo, couple weeks without writing anything. Dat's bad.
But fear not, I've had my fill of Fallout 3 for now and will post something to make up for the time I didn't write anything!
New RPG Adventures, which could just about work for any game genre. But like I said before, it's just so easy to write these.
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The player is currently browsing the marketplace on his Xstation Thwii for some new content that was just released for RPG Adventures.
Player: This new "Extended Play" DLC is supposed to add a couple of hours to the game. It's also supposedly adding new items and coustumes for Thief and Hero... And I'm still talking to myself.
The player finds the download that he seeks. He confirms that he'd like to download the content onto his hard drive.
Player: Jeesh, 800 points for some more content. This had better be damn worth it... And not glitch ridden like the last two packs... And maybe two more DLC packs to be announced after this supposedly final one... And for me to stop talking to myself and using ellipses to show a pause.
The download bar on the screen crawls at a painfully slow rate. The player anticipates this and pulls out a book to read.
-Two hours later-
The player had just finished the book he was reading when the pack finished downloading. The player goes to the launch menu and starts RPG Adventures.
Player: Alright, now let's see what options I get.
The game starts up as normal. However, when the player chooses to continue his game, the option of alternate coustumes for the characters pop up, like he had read about.
Player: Eh, sure. I'll see what they look like just for the sake of seeing them.
Since it's been a while since the player has played the game, a summary of what he last did pops up on the screen:
"Hero and Thief-"
Player: Meh, I'll just read it in game.
The player skips the uselss summary.
Hero and Thief are standing outside of the swamp again.
Hero: Wow, did it feel like we were standing here for two weeks?
Thief: It's all in your head.
Hero: Then's there something about a Zombie Samurai Lincoln... Thief, who is Lincoln?
Thief: No idea... By the way, you look different.
Hero's new coustume is a lot more intricate. Instead of the usual light armor he wears, he now wore an armor that can be described as a heavier version of his old armor. The armor Hero wears now looks similar to the General that he killed earlier on. However, even though the armor looks heavier that usual Hero doesn't seem slowed by it at all.
Hero: Huh, I didn't notice... By the way, Thief...
Thief's new coustume gave her a gi. If you had to describe it, Thief would have looked like a medieval ninja. She wore a headband to keep her bangs out of her eyes. The gi was open at the top to show some clevage. This is after all parodying a JPRG, so clevage is a must.
Hero: You look like a ninja!
Thief: Yes, yes I do. I also steal things like a ninja.
Hero: What do you- Hey! My wallet!
Hero chases after Thief. The Player is laughing like a madman.
Player: Oh man! This is the best DLC ever! And I've only played for a couple minutes which was actually a cutscene!
The player then notices that his wallet is missing. This raises many questions.
He'll have to pay 800 Xstation Live points to know the answer to them.