"Stop, that's not true, that's not true at all!" Asch yelled out as he ran out of the van automatically without thinking about the situation and stood in front of Arche to try to protect him.
"What are you talking about?! Of course you Resistance scum killed those people, can't you see the bodies strewn all over the place?!" A man known as AfroJackX cried "You Resistance members fired on those defenseless citizens and killed them!"
"The only thing the Fexnodrome did was make that trench to keep those Met's from attacking the citizens inside!" Asch countered "Those Mets showed up first to act as a decoy for an army of Zero Joes! Trust me, my friend saw it on the News when the Mets killed a Reporter who was reporting the incident even though she should have found shelter!"
Meanwhile inside the Van…
"Jeez I know that guy is not the brightest around but he's just plain stupid if he thinks that he can sway that crowd without concrete evidence. What a loser." Keco snorted.
"What are you talking about; a loser would not go out to try to pacify a raging crowd like that. A man like that is brave to face such adversity." Kharaxel replied.
"Oh please, stupid people are brave and brave people are stupid. I know that for a fact." Keco countered.
"Then what the hell are we supposed to do in a situation like that, can you answer that?!" Kharaxel yelled "All you've been doing the entire time I've met you is spout out such vemonmous comments instead of supporting us!"
"Hey I'm not here to make friends with people who may or may not be here next week, I'm only here because I was ordered to help you guys." Keco shrugged coolly.
"Some help you've been you aren't even taking this seriously!" Kharaxel roared.
"Both of you shut the hell up!" Fugo said as he slammed his fist on the dashboard "Now is not the time to talk about why we're in the Resistance or how we're supporting each other or not so be [tornado fang]ing quiet!"
"Sorry...." Kharaxel said as he shrunk a bit.
"Whatever." Keco said nonchalantly.
"Umm ignoring the insults Keco does bring up a good point, indirectly.” Akai stated “I mean I know how much Asch looks like PB, and the crowd thinks PB destroyed his place of his own free will so isn’t it a bad idea for him to try to reason with the crowd since he could make this worse and is at risk of being hanged, burned at the stake, or something even worse?”
“You would think so, and that’s what he’s scared about more than anything at the moment since he’s shaking like a dog out there, but in truth the chance of them thinking he’s PB are slim to none.” Fugo shook his head as he calmed down from his outburst.
“Oh why is that?” Ephy asked curiously.
“It’s because PB rarely takes of his sunglasses.” Fugo stated.
“Seriously?” Karring laughed. “What is he a vampire and afraid of being burned by the sun or something?”
“It’s true!” Taylor piped up “He always wears them whether he’s on the beach, chilling in a Jacuzzi, or even formal occasions!” “In fact I only saw him with them off yesterday, I’ve seen him shirtless way more than that!”
“Exactly, those sunglasses are so iconic to him that if he takes them off and walks into a crowd 9 out of 10 times he would not be recognized. Therefore it’s very unlikely someone could make that connection with Asch.” Fugo concluded.
“Makes sense but how were you able to guess that Asch was PB’s clone back then even with all that, I know for a fact that Asch didn’t tell you anything about that.” Akai questioned.
“You know Zeta right?” Fugo asked.
“Oh of course I do!” Akai nodded “She gave me some good advice about a few problems I had.”
“She’s probably the most earnest person I’ve ever met, and the second most violent.” Kharaxel nodded.
“Yes both are true. She will involve herself in other people’s business, is very very physical, ask how you’ve been, tell you how she’s been, and other random things that make Zeta Zeta.” Fugo continued “She told me all this stuff about how Sakura made a friend who was a robotic clone made by Wily, deviated from his purpose, changed how he looks and even had eyes that were darker than the original PB and so much more at 9:00 at night 2 days ago. That’s how I knew who Asch was.”
“That makes sense.” Akai nodded.
“I take that back, all of you are idiots.” Keco muttered. “Especially this Zeta person.”
“Zeta huh….sounds like my type of wom-Yah-Ow-OW!” Karring said out loud before Kathy stepped on his tail and grinded it.
"Can someone please tell me what's going on!" Key yelled suddenly "You guys still haven't explained anything to me!"
Back at the mob….
“Okay look scum, where are these Joes you keep ranting about, why are there so many dead bodies all over the place, isn’t it your job to save [tornado fang]ing lives?! Isn’t it your job to protect us?! Not to mention what about that alien threat that Wily was looking into when you guys attacked his survey bots!” AfroJackX continued to accuse Asch.
“Did you seriously not see the trench around the Fexnodrome to keep out the Mets, or consider the fact that only Vixy is inside the Fexnodrome with everyone else being citizens who wanted shelter when you tried to destroy the Fexnodrome?! Or the fact that most of these bodies have bite marks on their ankles and severe blood loss?! Why are you guys still in the middle of St. Acidburg and not seeking shelter, don’t you guys know how much danger you’re in if you stay here?!” Asch countered.
“Hey I’m the one asking questions here buddy not you, and you haven’t even answered any of them.” AfroJackX growled.
“But you’re not asking questions, you’re making accusations without considering all possible perspectives!” Asch yelled “I keep telling you that the Fexnodrome was only trying to protect the citizens inside not kill people! You’re only taking Wily’s word that he’s trying to protect you and has your safety in mind when he’s the last person you should trust!”
“Of course scum like you would say that.” AfroJack ignored him “How can we even trust you guys when your ‘leader’ was the one who got us into this mess!”
“You can’t trust him anyway!” a woman named Devia Luna shouted.
“Okay why can’t you trust me?” Asch sighed as he was getting tired of this already.
“Because you’re PB of course!” Devia Luna declared.
“What?! No I’m not!” Asch said in anger and a bit of fear.
“Huh what are you talking about babe?” AfroJackX “I mean yeah he has red hair but this guy looks nothing like him.”
“Well you never met him dear.” Devia said as she stepped in front of Asch with only a small and uncomfortable distance between them "Do you remember me PB, Devia Luna ring a bell?"
"I'm not PB and I've never seen you before in my life!" Asch said nervosly.
The woman before him was a force to be reckoned with, confident, a seductivly sexy voice, blue hair as dark as the night sky with deep brown eyes, a rack bigger than both Sakura's and PBPB that she was emphasizing, and she was only a few inches shorter than him..
She suddenly laughed a bitter laugh that was full of sarcasm.
"Of course you wouldn't remember someone like me, especially with how 'busy' you are." Devia smirked like a woman scorned "But I do, I remember how you kissed me, how you held me, carresed me and whispered dirty things to me. You may not remember but I would never forget someone who made love to me."
"What?!" AfroJackX shouted "Devia you had sex with that pig?!"
"Yes when I was young and foolish." Devia sighed "The sex was great, but I never saw him again after that day."
"I-I can't believe this!" AfroJackX said shock.
Asch picked his jaw off the ground and responded while his face was still red.
"Look I'm sorry." Asch began "You're obviously a very passionate woman who has been hurt and the entire situation the past few days sure as hell haven't been helping you guys in anyway. But I can tell you I am not PB and I would not hurt anyone in that way. I mean I can't even have sex if I wanted to since I'm a robot."
"Oh spare me the lies PB!" Devia said as she raised her hand.
"I don't know." Another woman named Lami spoke up. "I mean yeah he the red hair but he still had short hair when he went attacked this place and you can't grow hair that fast. Not to mention I had a night of fun with him too and I could have sworn his eyes were a ruby red, his is like a garnet red."
"*snort* Oh please anyone can put on a wig and contacts!" Devia stated as she started to pull Asch's hair from the top. "Urrrgh this thing is not coming of! Did you super glue it to you're skull or did you just used super strong duct tape?"
"Ow Ow Ow it's not a wig this is my hair!" Asch shouted in pain.
"Devia that thing is definetly not a wig, it's way too smooth." A woman named Amethyst stated.
"Huh it's not?" Devia said as pulling stopped pulling but didn't let go.
"Oh thank god!" Asch said with gratitude "Finally someone reasona-"
"He obviously used hair extensions and flat iron his hair." Amethyst interrupted "I mean look how shiny his hair is!"
"Oh yeah now I see what you're talking about I was pulling at the wrong place!" Devia said as she decided to pull at his pony tail instead.
"Why me!" Asch shouted in dispair.
"No, no, no, you're doing it wrong." Amethyst said as she walked over "You're supposed to pull closer to the roots to get them off if he used good ones."
"Uh guys I still don't think that wimp is PB." Lami said tagging along with several other women.
Suddenly Asch had several woman pulling at his hair and even at his clothes to check 'other things'.
"Guys let go of him I spent enough time with him to know he's not a freaking pervet!" Blue shouted as she tried to get the women off him with Arche trying to help but both of them couldn't get through without using force which was the last thing they wanted to do at the moment.
"Uh shouldn't we help them or something?" A man named Jetfire asked "I mean if he is PB isn't that dangerous that they're getting close to him?"
"It's fine." AfroJackX said glumly as he sat down on a piece of debris "That guy's not PB, he was trying to avoid looking at Devia's chest and Devia knows how to take care of herself fine."
"Hey dude are you okay man?" Jetfire asked concerned.
"Not really." AfroJackX sighed "How would you feel if you realized that before your girl friend met you that she had sex with a sex god. We haven't even done the deed yet but now I know that when we do she's going to compare me to him and I'm going to lose."
"Hey don't worry about that now." Another man named Jayster said trying to cheer him up "Having great sex with another guy before she met you isn't going to change things between you, she obviously regreted it."
"Doesn't really make me feel better." AfroJackX frowned.
"Come on let's just go find some more debris to throw at the Fexnodrome, that will make you feel better." Jetfire suggested.
"Okay." AfroJackX nodded as they all went back to looking for debris.
"ONLY A 9 IN 10 CHANCE YOU SAID." SAM quipped.
"I really underestimated how much PB gets around." Fugo said as he rested his head on the steering wheel.
"So shouldn't we try to help Asch?" Kharaxel asked nervously.
"Nah he's got more than enough help and I'm sure if those girls have at least half a brain collectly they'll figure out that he's not him one way or another." Keco dismissed.
"Keco is right, as much as I hate to say this our priority should be to make sure those guys over there don't try to chuck more debris at the Fexnodrome." Fugo sighed "Non violently and without weapons."
Everyone nodded as they exited the van and started heading for the me.
(And there you have it, probably the most random way to deal with this situation. Poor Asch.)