Communism didn't work. Fascism didn't work. Monarchism barely works. Democracy only somehow works. Anarchism probably wouldn't work either.
So I'm going to create my own form of government. It shall be called "Magnificism". It would work on a number of basic principles:
- Quasi-monarchy, with elements of democracy and anarchism; I would place myself as the head of state - my title being The Magnificent One - and decide who gets to be in my parliament, with feedback, suggestions and opinions from the voting public. They run the country for me, though I would be in charge of the general nation as a whole/total. Political parties and trade unions allowed. The people would be granted a good deal of freedom to do what they like, within the established laws.
- Law would be enforced by standard police officers, with the special forces unit - the "Top Trumps" - acting as a sort of benevolent "secret police" to ensure all is going well. The laws would be fairly lenient, and a good deal of freedom - as previously stated - would be granted; provided the people show responsibility. If they step out of line, the Top Trumps will punish them accordingly. Citizens are encouraged to behave accordingly and report any breaking of the law, no matter how small, in order to ensure everyone plays fair.
- Punishment based on a policy of "poetic justice", with the punishment fitting the crime. The victim(s) and/or relatives/friends of the victim(s) would be allowed decide the punishment and, if it is deemed an acceptable method of delivering justice, they may carry out the punishment themselves (if they so choose). This is preceeded by a court trial, where the offender can plead their case.
- Friendly relations, diplomacy, a policy of open neutrality and being nice to others is inherent in this form of government. Our motto would be Bill and Ted's famous speech, "Be excellent to eachother".
- Morally and humanistically, everyone is equal under the eyes of Magnificism. People are encouraged to accept The Magnificent One as the head of state, but they don't have to like him if they don't want to. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and all suggestions are considered. There is no cult of personality or cencorship. All people are encouraged to make their own decisions. However, it is not anarchy; the laws, while somewhat lenient, are there to protect the people. Anyone caught breaking them is punished accordingly, not because they have angered The Magnificent One or acted against his will, but because they have done wrong and not considered the rights of other people. Fair is fair.
N.B. Just in case anyone is getting annoyed or puzzled, I am, of course, joking. I'm only taking the mick out of politics. Don't eat me. Thanks.