Something I did for the school paper. Except it's not formatted for a journalism class.
---
Visceral Games and EA brings us the hack and slash based on a literature classic Dante’s Inferno. I journeyed to Hell to see if this was worth the sixty dollar price tag or not.
The game is very true to the original epic with its imagery and musical score. The scenery is Hellish and the game often has you use walls made of the damned as your footholds, all the while you hear their moans of anguish as they’re tortured for eternity. The characters converse with one another naturally and none of the in game dialogue sounds forced.
And that’s where my praise for this game ends.
In the original epic Dante descends into Hell along with the company of fellow poets of the time such as Virgil and Shakespeare. In the game the poet’s party is cut down to just Dante and Virgil. It should also be noted that Dante is no longer a poet but a soldier of the crusades.
During the job change Dante seems to have lost everything that made him likable which makes it difficult to pity him. For some reason he sews on a red cross to his chest as a sort of penance. At least I think that’s why he did it. It’s never explained any further than that.
Beatrice, whom in the game is Dante’s wife, plays little more than the damsel in distress that the hero chases after through a literal Hell to save her. Except at first she rightly reacts to him coldly as he betrayed her trust and instead couples up with the devil the first leg of the game.
Speaking of the Devil, Lucifer has got to be one of the best villains I’ve ever seen in a video game. He doesn’t even have to do anything; he just speaks and it drives Dante crazy.
For the game play itself it’s a pretty standard hack and slash: mash a few buttons in varying combinations until everything but you is dead. Although that can be difficult at times since enemies have far too much health and have way too many ways to stay invulnerable to your attacks.
Dante gets two weapons in this game. Death’s scythe, which isn’t as cool as it sounds, and Beatrice’s Cross which is a holy projectile weapon. You’ll be using the cross more often since it’s free to use and 95% of the enemies in the game are melee based.
There are two upgrade systems that make up the karma system: one for being good and the other for being evil. You gain experience by either finishing off your opponent in an exceptionally violent way or finishing off your opponent in an exceptionally violent way, but you’re praising God while you do it.
Each side unlocks new combos and increases your health and magic bars. You either learn new spells as the game progresses or you buy them in the karma level up system. There’s no real impact to the story for which side of the karmic coin you pick
The combat is fluid enough. Combos are easy to pull off, making the game much more bearable.
Everything outside of battle can be a chore. In every section of the game there is always something that can kill you instantly. Whether that obstacle is a bottom less pit (this is the one that happens most often), burning oil, lava, or fire despite you only taking slight damage from it a section before. Jumping to avoid these insta-kill obstacles can sometimes have to be so precise that you may barely miss. The camera doesn’t help matters since it’s always stuck either on Dante or something in the scenery instead of Dante. It’s more often the latter.
While the visuals are hellish, I could have gone the rest of my life happy without seeing the Lust section of the game. And this is in the beginning of the game.
The Lust section and insta-kills aside, Dante’s Inferno starts off as an alright game. Then halfway through you can tell that the developers just stopped putting effort into the game.
I almost stopped playing the game after Fraud, which made you go through ten challenges that would have been better left as a side mission or its own section of the game, not part of the main story.
The boss battles in this game are a joke and far too simplistic, even for something in the hack and slash genre. Some of the minor boss battles will repeat through several points in the game which always leads to the same end; and these boss battles can only end through quick time events.
The game doesn’t even try to change up which button you need to push for these quick time events to succeed. So long as you’ve done it once you can do it again. Even the final battle with Lucifer was boring, and I liked Lucifer as a villain!
Bottom line: Dante’s Inferno isn’t worth the $60. It’s a pretty game, but the game play just drags it down to Hell; and not in the way it’s supposed to. If you want a good hack and slash that’s based on mythology you’re probably better off picking up God of War III.
Posted on: March 03, 2010, 09:07:38 PM
WELL. It's been a while since I updated the LP. I think I should do that.
Sorry for the delay, but
Yakuza 3 Pokemon Soul Silver I'M LAZY school has been annoying.
ANYWAYS. Here's an update.
[spoiler=Assholes and Birds, oh my!]
I was just about to leave town, but then I saw someone in the distance.
Oh god, it's him.
I'll tell you anything! Just don't hit me!
"returned?"
Yeah, I beat their asses.
"lying."
Funny how a thief and an [dark hold] is scolding me on lying. Even though I'm not.
"good you are."
BRING IT PUNK!
Looks like he's caught some Pokemon since last time. Still won't be enough, though.
He caught a...Ball of gas? Did he just fart into the PokeBall or something?
Holy crap! The Fart Monster just put Oxtongue to sleep by looking at it!
And now it's being spiteful! (I'm too lazy to post the screenshots, but Spite reduces the PP of the last used move by a random amount. In this case Peck was reduced by 3.)
Eventually Oxtongue woke up and pecked the gas ball to submission... I'm not sure how that works but it was funny to watch.
Oh hey, it's one of those bat things that pop up every time I take a step in a cave!...
I [tornado fang]ing HATE those things.
Mr. Tickles threw some rocks at it. Then it did things I didn't even know you could do to a bat... I'm going to have nightmares.
It's our man Derp versus the slightly bigger Crocodile that Ahole stole. Damn, that thing looks pissed.
Hey, Derp is not useless!
Oh, you were talking about yours... They aren't useless either!
Must be tough hating yourself. OH BURN.
...So you really do hate yourself?
"out the weak."
Well, at least he's motivated about something... Maybe he should put those efforts into NOT BEING AN [dark hold].
You say that, but I know I'm going to be doing most of the work.
"weak."
I noticed that too.
"Hate" is such a sto-Oh who am I kidding? I hate those bastards too.
Hey, I just kicked your ass. There's no way in hell that I'm weak.
And then he left. Boy that took longer than I thought. The sun rose while we were battling!
Wow, I go from daylight to darkness. DAMN YOU NATURE!
"steaming."
Your boss is mad because you're standing around? He must be a hardass.
Well, this has turned into a Farfetch'd situation.
Bullshit. You just don't want to.
Fine. I'll go look for it. You pussy.
OH hey, that was easy. I thought that would be harder.
...It quaked in my face and ran.
Okay, stop quaking in my face and running away.
Not so smart now, are you? Stupid Bird.
While herding that bird back...
Oh god, it's the weird mushroom crab thing.
...WUT.
Now to stuff it in my box and never use it. Because it sucks.
The damn thing needs to stop running from me.
Yeah, your boy over there was too much of a pussy to look for it.
Yeaaaaah. I think you need a better business model.
Although I got this for saving his business. Which is awesome.
Now I made Venus even more useless!
Also, Mushback had a Big Mushroom on it... I don't think I can use it, so I'll just sell it next chance I get.
Next time:
Headbutting trees and getting the F out of Ilex Forest[/spoiler]