[spoiler="Well, if you wanna know..."]I guess a lot of things, really. Mostly being unable to find a decent job because my parents have been harassing me to get one when I'm still heavily involved with trying to get my GED (because I dropped out of HS due to my mental health being out of whack from overworking myself, hence why I said anxiety attacks in the return / goodbye thread) and I'm also now into my early 20s and being a responsible young adult.
In my spare time I also took up psychology to help understand the reasons why I act the way I act, yanno?
Another reason is just pure depression and being stuck in a situation that no one wants to be in at my age. I want to pursue a career in voice-over work and it's something I've been doing in my spare time outside of writing. It's just this atmosphere I'm in and interacting with my family is sort of driving me on the edge a little, so I'm a bit dour and depressed about things as you can see.
I've been through a lot since I started and I'm not gonna lie that I was an idiot. I had it pretty rough during those olden days because my family and I don't really get along as we would like, committed suicide nearly six times and had a brush with a lot of unfortunate things during my HS years.
I'm a guy who writes ideas in the hope that he can escape from himself and the life he has. But at the same time I mentally feel like I'm useless to the world because of this shitty E-rank luck of mine. Ultimately, I give up and just breakdown that I couldn't conquer something today that might help me move on.
But, you know? I can't always be pessimistic or cynical about things. There's always a better day and I ultimately believe that this is just something I have to face. I just have to believe, I guess...
I've done all I can to really get out of things or situations but everything seems to not stay the way for long, sadly. I'm sorry if this was lengthy but, hell, I needed to vent in some way.
I don't have much else to say, really. I think that's been basically up with me the last six or seven years.[/spoiler]