I have a lot of love to give... but no one to give it to...
[spoiler=''No one wants to see that crap'' cut]I don't know why, but it seems like whenever I make any kind of female friend, it absolutely has to stay platonic. The girls I meet always give me some kind of lame excuse. Let's run through some of the usual ones, shall we?
"I'm not looking for a relationship right now."
Neither am I. I just want someone to cuddle up to, and maybe fool around with, who genuinely want to do the same in return. Online, since I sincerely doubt you live anywhere nearby.
"I don't see you as more than a friend."
Look harder.
"I'm a lesbian."
I honestly have no counter for this one, but it still makes me feel like [parasitic bomb], somehow. -_-
"I'm not interested."
Why not? I'm a nice guy chalk full of love and adoration.
"You make me uncomfortable."
That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to show you somebody out there loves you.
"You're a [Top Spin]."
And you're an [dark hold], apparently. Why am I your friend, again?
"You know I'm underage, right?"
This one seems to happen more often than I'd care to admit. I connect with someone, we have a lot in common, and then bam. I find out she's not of legal age, despite being smart, clever, funny, and so-forth. Terrific.
"I'm currently in a relationship."
This also happens more often than I'd like to admit. Same thing as above, but instead of being underage, they with someone. Most everyone is upfront about it, but it still sucks to make a strong connection with someone only to realize/be reminded that you will never be able to be with them because somebody beat you to the punch. -_-
"You're totally awesome and I love you! Don't touch me."
I can't even begin to describe how annoying, not to mention insulting, this one is. If I'm so awesome, why am I not allowed to cuddle up to you? I don't have rabies.
Personally, I keep thinking maybe it's just "karmic justice" that keeps happening. For something like 7 years, I kept harassing this one girl and basically making her miserable because she refused to "get with me." Yes, there was plenty of good times, too, but I don't think that offset the bad times by much... I was a terrible person back then and I think I've learned a few things in the years that followed, but I guess that's not good enough for the God of Karma.
By my calculations, I should have another three years of getting snubbed, jerked around, made to feel bad, and feeling unloved by anyone of the opposite sex, even online. So, that's fun.
*sigh* I wish I had a heart of stone like my friend. Like any of my friends. I'm the only person I know who absolutely needs attention from the opposite sex. I guess because I don't feel like I'm useful otherwise. I don't know...
I don't understand... I just don't understand... Or maybe I do, but I sincerely hope I'm wrong...[/spoiler]