Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, just another fist
Hitler didn't kill himself because he lost the war. He killed himself because he saw Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris jumps out a plane he survives, gravity is just to scared to let him fall to death
Elephants aren't afraid of mice. They're afraid of Chuck Norris
They say a groundhog is afraid of his own shadow, but a groundhog is really afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never uses the bathroom. Chuck Norris has his enemies use the bathroom for him, because he scares the [parasitic bomb] and [acid burst] out of them
Chuck Norris' teeth have muscles
When Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon, the first thing he saw was 'Chuck Norris was here' carved into a moon rock.
If you see Chuck Norris kicking himself... its because he ran out of asses to kick. But thats impossible.
Jack the Ripper was never found because Chuck Norris got to him first!
Chuck Norris doesn't wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris lied trough his teeth, the lie detector won't pick it up.
Chuck Norris never has to wash his clothes. The clothes was themselves out of sheer terror!