[spoiler]This is a story about a guy named Rad. Rad was awesome, and so he did awesome things.
One day, Rad was walking down the street to have sex with twenty Swedish supermodels when he was mugged by a ninja. The ninja pulled out a twenty-foot katana and told Rad he would chop his dick off if he didn't hand over all his money. Rad was awesome, though, so he glared at the ninja and the ninja melted into a bit puddle of money, which Rad put in his Manly Thong of Holding.
On the way, Rad met a homeless person. The homeless person smelled like body odour and stale [acid burst] and he asked Rad for some money. Rad, being awesome, took pity on the homeless man. He gave the poor bum all the money from his Manly Thong. The bum thanked him and vowed to follow him to the ends of the earth. Then the bum turned into a flaming jaguar and Rad rode him to the Moon and beat up Zombie Hitler because he was awesome like that. Rad thought his jaguar needed an awesome name, so he called him Rad, because Rad is the most awesome name ever.
When Rad returned to Earth - he passed through the atmosphere unharmed because he was awesome like that - he continued to ride his flaming jaguar steed down the street. Along the way he met Shaquille O'Neal and gave him a high-five and Shaq was all like, "Yo, Rad, you're so awesome, I want you to have my babies." And then Rad had hot manly sex with Shaq and they had seventy-eight awesome babies because Rad was awesome and so he had awesome sperm.
Rad then realised he was late for his sexy Swedisah appointment, and that simply wouldn't do. So he ran around the world so fast that time rewound and he high-fived Jesus on the way and stopped just outside the house where twenty naked Swedish supermodels were waiting for him. And because he was awesome, Rad had sex with them all at once, and it lasted five days, and it was so awesome (because, remember, Rad was awesome) that the girls all exploded and Rad's awesome semen destroyed the world.
But Rad was okay because he was awesome.
The End[/spoiler]