Ah, just found an old Telegraph page of "Tim Vine's Top 10 Jokes"....
- Exit signs? They're on the way out.
- The Black Beauty one I mentioned above.
- Velcro? That's a rip-off.
- Crime in multi-storey carparks. That's wrong on so many levels.
- A darts champion asked me why I put superglue on his darts. I said "You just can't let it go, can you?"
- I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
- I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again
- Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes
- So I said to a Scottsman 'did you have terrible spots as a kid?' He said 'ac ne'
- Do you ever get that when you're half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, 'I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'
I've thrown some puns around fairly recently, too. Go find the "Cakepocalypse" oneshot I put in the Supplement RP thread for more cake puns than you can handle.