Topic: Art of DarkWaltz *10-17-12* New Robot Master

[Alice in Entropy]

Mmmmh, colourful~

[Blackhook]

Awww that´s cute

[Akira]

Want some chocolate eggs!

Nice drawing, it is adorable!

[Copy X]

Happy Late Easter ^^;;

Also, might as well post it here:

Happy Birthday DW! Hope you have a good day and more birthdays to come.

And don't worry, Copy X will not be jumping  out of any cakes this year....unless Shinobu wants him too.

[DarkWaltz]

Wait, you're the same age too? a lot of artist here born in 1985.

and awww that's cute.

Weird isn't it?

Thank you. ^^

That's just egg-cellently adorable! 

Thank you PB. I don't think Grey looks as good as Aile though. I think it's the hair color that's off.

Indeeedly I decreem that picture, kosher! *whacks with cane*

Yaay its kosher!

Mmmmh, colourful~

Thanks. ^^

Awww that´s cute

Thank you. ^^

Want some chocolate eggs!

Nice drawing, it is adorable!

I'm a little saddened that Easter is gone. here goes my Reese's peanut butter eggs for another year...

Thank you Akira. ^^

Happy Late Easter ^^;;

Also, might as well post it here:

Happy Birthday DW! Hope you have a good day and more birthdays to come.

And don't worry, Copy X will not be jumping  out of any cakes this year....unless Shinobu wants him too.

You too and thank you CX. ^^

Shinobu:    Depends on the cake...

[Asena]

Wait, you're the same age too? a lot of artist here born in 1985.

and awww that's cute.

No, I'm 21.
But I'm not artist haha

Nice pic DW!

[Acid]

But I'm not artist haha

Yes you are.

[Black Mage J]

Yaay its kosher!

M'yes, so now you can also devour the holy piece of art.
My genius intellect never seizes to scare me.

[DarkWaltz]

Random something I started writing this morning. AUverse with older Shinobu, although she hasn't appeared yet. This may seem a bit OOC as I have difficulty with decent characterization, particularly with Phantom.  But I try, and this is relatively a rough draft written for fun. But if anyone has any pointers and such I'll be glad to hear them as it'll help me improve my lack of decent writing skills.

Enjoy, I hope. ^^; Also this is well before Ciel forms the resistence although there are some smaller factions residing on the outskirts. Both working together and seperately as well. If that makes any sense. 

(click to show/hide)

Shouts and the discharge of weapons met his ears even through the thick glass panels that allowed him the view of the outside world from his office. He stood there, standing in one of the panels unafraid as he watched the small force practice their maneuvers on the training grounds several stories below. Regarding the precision to their movements as one well trained unit.

Despite their simple A.I., the pantheons were capable of destroying any irregular in their path, or be destroyed in the attempt. They had no emotions, they weren’t given such in depth coding to their systems so they knew no fear or pain. They were almost a complete throwback to their predecessors centuries ago.

 His hands clasped behind his back. His spine straighter and giving a much more haughtier appearance. He preferred this look. It was easier to remind others of who he is and what he was capable of doing. It made him feel powerful and reassured in his position. Granted, it wasn’t often that the Master of Neo Arcadia needed to remind someone of his status.

Copy X breathed in deeply, feeling mechanical lungs filling with air and then expelled it slowly. Being reploid, he didn’t need to breathe but it made him feel a little more human. The air was cool and clean, having been filtered through the vents in his office. Much better conditions then what it was in the outlands beyond the city’s borders.

His eyes lifted, viewing his reflection in the transparent surface. He had seen images of the original X, and even the corpse locked within Yggdrasil. He looked identical. Same complexion of synthetic skin, eyes the same shape, small nose and thin lips, everything exactly as the original. Donning a similar blue armor, even his Guardians could not tell the difference until they could see his eyes. The left eye was a deep forest green while the other eye was a rich crimson, it was the only way that the people closest to him could tell that his body was a replica. 

Granted, most of them were not aware that he was a replica entirely. Both of body and his programming. For all they knew he was X revived. How foolish of them.

A pantheon had its leg ripped apart from the rest of its body. Collapsing to the barren ground and started crawling still towards the goal at the obstacles’ end. Sparks flew from its damaged body and a smear of red hydraulic fluid followed behind.

His lips pinched together. Disgusting. He turned away from the window, no longer interested in what was going on below. Returning to his seat behind his oak desk, he let out a sigh as he brought up his reports once more. Rebellious reploids on the outskirts of Arcadian society had taken over one of his manufacturing plants. An attempt at getting their hands on the weaponry they couldn’t get otherwise.

Maybe he should feel a tinge of sorrow for those unfortunate robots who thought to fight against him. He had deployed the Zan’ei to destroy the small group of terrorists, and they will certainly show no mercy. Oh well. They had chosen to fight against his will and his law, now they will pay the consequences of their actions. Their deaths will serve as a reminder to the others who whisper in the shadows. He started to smile slightly at the thought.

“Something pleases you, Master?”

He had nearly jumped out of his seat. Phantom had appeared out of nowhere once again as he was prone to do. Copy X shook his head, he will never get used to Phantom’s sudden appearances. He had to wonder if his original ever did. 

“Master?”

“I’m all right, Phantom. Although I do wish that you’d use the door like everyone else.”

He caught the corner of Phantom’s mouth twitch upwards for a split second. Then just as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared. His normal stoic expression returning.

“So, I can assume the mission was a success?”

“It was, Master.” his Guardian replied, “They were still attempting to hack the systems to start the machinery. Leviathan had blocked each of their attempts while we moved into the building. Most of their group were dead before they realized we were there.”

“I see,” Copy X sat back, “Any survivors?”

“None, Master. You ordered for a total extermination of this irregular unit, it has been done.”

X smiled and nodded his head. Excellent. Now all he needed was to have the media alerted to the events. A hidden threat to the reploids threaded into the reassurance that he was keeping his human citizens safe. What a great thing journalism was, when properly manipulated.

“That will be all then, Phantom, well done. Allow your troops to rest for the remainder of the day. They deserve it.” Copy X said, excusing the dark armored Guardian.

“Thank you, Master.“ Phantom paused as he stepped back, “There is one other thing.”

“What is it?”

“Harpuia has issued a meeting between the Shitennou and the officers of our units, so I will not be able to attend you tomorrow. However, one of my lieutenants will be there to stand guard for you during the trials.”

Copy X nodded his head once. It wasn’t the first time, and certainly not the last time. Phantom had always served as his main bodyguard since his activation and the time before with the original X. However, being the commander of the Zan’ei unit had also required his attention and sometimes even more so. He was fine with it. Phantom and his unit were invaluable to him with the insurgencies of his lesser kin, whether it was intelligence or assassinations. Not to mention their utmost loyalty to him.

 “So who shall attend me? Hanumachine I suppose?”

“No, Master. Shinobu will be with you.”

That caused an eyebrow to raise. Shinobu, next to Phantom was the eldest member of the Zan’ei, a kunoichi personally trained by Phantom years ago. He had seen her plenty of times before, she was normally around Phantom or the other Guardians, but only acknowledged her once.

“Hanumachine’s presence is needed for the meeting. I can assure you, Master, that she will keep you safe from any harm.”

He looked at the report, shining on his computer screen and illuminating his face. He had to wonder, obviously Phantom had felt her capable enough, but could she handle standing by him? From what he surveyed in the rare moments that he saw her, she acted more like a child then the adult she appeared to be. He would have preferred a much more mature guard.

“All right Phantom,” Copy X said, “I trust your word. Inform her to be in my hall at 0900 sharp.”

The black armored Guardian bowed once, than vanished quickly.

He let out a sigh in exasperation, “Really, is the door that difficult to use?”

[Black Mage J]

I like it, it's now canon.

[Blackhook]

Indeed it is. I expected Phantom to ask: Door? What is that?

[Asena]

Yes you are.

No i am not.


And mmmmm fanfics! next chap!

[Alice in Entropy]

Seems fine to me. Maybe a few little grammar and pacing issues, but otherwise good work! You're avoiding overuse of purple prose, too, which is always a good thing.

[DarkWaltz]

I like it, it's now canon.

Oh goody.

Indeed it is. I expected Phantom to ask: Door? What is that?

Shinobu: We don't need doors! We're ninjas!

And mmmmm fanfics! next chap!

Thanks. Second part is coming along slowly.

Seems fine to me. Maybe a few little grammar and pacing issues, but otherwise good work! You're avoiding overuse of purple prose, too, which is always a good thing.

THank you. ^^

But I have to ask, what's purple prose mean?

[Alice in Entropy]

Purple prose is when you use fancy adjectives, showy phrases and flowery language to an excessive degree. It's fine for some styles - such as archaic/classical/epic fiction - and if it's done right, but if it's done poorly, it seems cheap, amateurish and can be very detrimental to the quality of writing.

Warning: brief tutorial ahead.

(click to show/hide)

Basic - John entered the room and closed the door.

This is telling us what John did in very simple terms. He entered the room and closed the door.

Expanded - John hurriedly stepped into the room and, in a brief moment of panic, closed the door firmly. He knew his wife would find out his secret if he wasn't careful. It was better, he reasoned, to just destroy the evidence here and now.

This is expanding the above passage. It is describing the manner in which John entered the room and closed the door, then going on to tell us why he did so and giving us a motive for his actions. The reader now knows how John feels and the vagueness of the above passage is given form and reason. The reader has a better understanding of John's predicament and wants to know more, but it's kept fairly simple and easy to understand.

Purple - John, barely able to keep his breath and his lungs from exhausting themselves from the sheer exertion of energy, frantically sprinted across the hallway and hurriedly bounded into his room, after which he threw his hands upon the handle of the door; in a brief yet tense moment of dastardly panic, he forced the door to shut with a heavy thud against the frame, keeping it shut firmly and tightly to ensure no-one could enter with ease. He knew in his mind that his wife, the blasted old bag, would soon be privy to his dark and haunting secret - the thoughts could not be kept at bay, for they kept gnawing at John's scattered mind, confused and weary from so much thinking on his planning. He conjured forth a plan - it would be better, he reasoned and felt solidly in his heart and soul, to just destroy the damned evidence in this place and at this time. It could wait no longer! He had to do it, there was no other choice!

This isn't really expanding so much as tacking on a bunch of inane and often redundant descriptions that the reader doesn't really need to hear. They already know John is in a hurry and panicked, they don't need reams and reams of paper hammering the point home. Not only can it easily bore the reader and drag the point out, it's unnecessarily dramatic for a relatively simple plot point.

In short - keep it simple but interesting!

[Mirby]

And here I thought I knew everything about the English language! Well, a little more knowledge is always good...

[DarkWaltz]

Purple prose is when you use fancy adjectives, showy phrases and flowery language to an excessive degree. It's fine for some styles - such as archaic/classical/epic fiction - and if it's done right, but if it's done poorly, it seems cheap, amateurish and can be very detrimental to the quality of writing.

Warning: brief tutorial ahead.

(click to show/hide)

Basic - John entered the room and closed the door.

This is telling us what John did in very simple terms. He entered the room and closed the door.

Expanded - John hurriedly stepped into the room and, in a brief moment of panic, closed the door firmly. He knew his wife would find out his secret if he wasn't careful. It was better, he reasoned, to just destroy the evidence here and now.

This is expanding the above passage. It is describing the manner in which John entered the room and closed the door, then going on to tell us why he did so and giving us a motive for his actions. The reader now knows how John feels and the vagueness of the above passage is given form and reason. The reader has a better understanding of John's predicament and wants to know more, but it's kept fairly simple and easy to understand.

Purple - John, barely able to keep his breath and his lungs from exhausting themselves from the sheer exertion of energy, frantically sprinted across the hallway and hurriedly bounded into his room, after which he threw his hands upon the handle of the door; in a brief yet tense moment of dastardly panic, he forced the door to shut with a heavy thud against the frame, keeping it shut firmly and tightly to ensure no-one could enter with ease. He knew in his mind that his wife, the blasted old bag, would soon be privy to his dark and haunting secret - the thoughts could not be kept at bay, for they kept gnawing at John's scattered mind, confused and weary from so much thinking on his planning. He conjured forth a plan - it would be better, he reasoned and felt solidly in his heart and soul, to just destroy the damned evidence in this place and at this time. It could wait no longer! He had to do it, there was no other choice!

This isn't really expanding so much as tacking on a bunch of inane and often redundant descriptions that the reader doesn't really need to hear. They already know John is in a hurry and panicked, they don't need reams and reams of paper hammering the point home. Not only can it easily bore the reader and drag the point out, it's unnecessarily dramatic for a relatively simple plot point.

In short - keep it simple but interesting!

Wow thanks. ^^  That certainly explains a lot. I can see what you mean by the purple prose... it's a bit on the overkill.

Posted on: April 10, 2010, 02:55:36More old art for yu guys. Still writing the next segment to the random sotry and working still on SHinobu's picture. I went detail crazy with the blanket and pillow.

(click to show/hide)

Will be redone as soon as I can figure out the flow of everything. ^^;; This is Lysare, a fan region for Pokemon that I made up and slowly working on. The game titles are Pokemon; Minuet and Pokemon; Nocturne, with the third follow-up game being Pokemon; Requiem. The three major Legendaries dealing Night, Day, and Dawn/Dusk.
So for the numbers (If you can see them. ^^; )
1) Serenade Town - The starting point after you picked your trainer.
2) Briskshore Town - Where the Professor and the Pokemon Academy lives. Second pass you'll run into the Elite 4 member, Cecilia.
3) Swiftchasm City - The first Gym Battle dedicated to Flying types
4) Fallsrun Town - The second Gym, specializing in Water types
5) Deepcrag Town - Third Gym Battle, specialty in Ground Types
6) Skyclash City - Fourth Gym Battle, Electric types.
7) Strikeheart Town - Fifth Gym Battle, Steel types.
Blackvein Town - Sixth Gym Battle, Poison types.
9) Icewall Town - Seventh Gym Battle, Ice types.
10) Flamespear City - Eight Gym Battle, Fire types.
11) Elite 4

(click to show/hide)

One of Pokemon of Lysare, and a pre-evolution to Pachirisu. Known as a Chipiri, although this is a shiney version.

That's about it right now. ^^

[Black Mage J]

Cool map.

[Blackhook]

Nice job on that map, and that Chipri is really cute

[Protoman Blues]

Your Pokemon drawings are simply awesomedorable.

[borockman]

That map is glorious.

[Dr. Wily II]

I see chibi Aile.
No one told me there's a chibi Aile.
... ME MAD ME SWIPE CHIBI AILE FOR MYSELF *swipes and teleports away, laughing manically*

Oh right, that story there was nice, to see Copy-X smirking, and raising his eyebrow at the mention of Shinobu.
The map is also just brilliant, and d'aww at Chipiri.

[Alice in Entropy]

This is relevant to my interests.

Got any more Pokemon from this new region? =D

[DarkWaltz]

Thanks everyone. The map sucks and needs to be redone due to placement issues of the gyms. You'll be running everywhere which isn't good. Maps really aren't that easy to make when you think about it. I don't really have no other pokemn for the region, I want to do the humans first and get them out of the way before I concentrate on the hardest part which are the pokemon themselves. Slowly it will be done. ^^

I see chibi Aile.
No one told me there's a chibi Aile.
... ME MAD ME SWIPE CHIBI AILE FOR MYSELF *swipes and teleports away, laughing manically*

Oh right, that story there was nice, to see Copy-X smirking, and raising his eyebrow at the mention of Shinobu.
The map is also just brilliant, and d'aww at Chipiri.

I was wondering where you were Wily.

Thank you. ^^

[DarkWaltz]

Another possible WIP with Shinobu again. Done at work with a pen so excuse the messy/ crappy lines.  Not to mention I can't draw a straight line to save my life. Also, the background may be something else depending.

I'm debating on whether she's sitting with Copy X or Phantom (Who happens to be a casual wear for randomness. ) Not really sure and I have no clue how to set up a poll for it... opinions? Or should I scrap the idea all together?