and now to be blunt about myself.
I may be intelligent (this is going by what others have told me), but I do a lot of stupid things. I say a lot of incredibly moronic things as well. I'm passionate about things I enjoy, and can take things far too personally when those things are being commented on negatively. I try to relax and be calm about things, but when I take things personally (which happens far too often, I admit) that composure breaks down entirely. I hate feeling rage, yet when the composure fails that's all I feel. As such, I tend to create a mental link between the rage and the person who said something to make me snap, much like a dog associates bad behavior with discipline.
Yes, I just compared myself to a dog. Say what you will about that, I don't really care, but it was the most apt comparison. All I'm saying is that... my intelligence may not show through sometimes. When I get emotional like that, logic falls to the wayside and I say things without thinking, I say things without caring because I just want it out there.
Despite all this and the rage I've been feeling lately, I haven't left like I said I would (comments made in an emotional state) because I do enjoy the rest of the little community here. There may be disagreements from time to time, and some full-on arguments, but for the most part there's good people here. I know that the people who bug me are but a minority when compared to everyone else.
I've also been here for... five years or so, if I'm not mistaken. It's hard to tell; I know it was before the crash. I really like it here, and I don't want to leave. I just want peace, but I know that as long as I let my emotions control me as they do I'll never find it.
As I said, I may be intelligent but, as of late, that hasn't really shown through here. I've been an emotional being, responding and snapping at a moment's notice.
I only explain all this to explain how I am and where I stand. Not sure why I did this, though...
