Thoughts...
Was there ever a girl in an anime that you loved so much-- a profound and deeply felt love that extended beyond basest sexuality into a restless attraction whereby the only way you could get a good night's sleep is to imagine oneself lying next to her? I am not simply referring to a girl that is cute or adorable, not that those aren't wonderful traits, but such things would be too superficial for the sublimity of emotion one would have locking eyes with her for the first time; a feeling that can only be likened to the chill one has when being stalked by an unknown predator or the shivering sensation of listening to a particularly engaging music piece. She would be no ordinary girl, her presence would engage all of your emotional faculties at once, muddling up the higher functions of your brain save one coherent train of thought-- that this girl, descended from heaven, borne from an unearthly place, was mine, mine, all mine; that my love for her would be matched in equal with her love for me and from this boundless cycle would we find unending happiness locked in each other arms like the radiant sun and vivid earth in their everlasting cosmic dance. This girl would be so beautiful and perfect that the mere thought of cuddling her would make you weep quiet, manly tears.
I have found this girl and her name is Fujibayashi Kyou. Every morning I wake up with a deep sigh knowing she is not asleep next to me, that my pitiful midnight delusions could not carry over to my morning reverie. This profound sadness carries over into the monotony of the day, whether it be sitting in lecture, eating lunch, socializing like a normal human being; regarding all the smiling faces envious knowing that they'll all have something I will never have, a love to call their own. I hasten to anger when I am reminded of my despondent state, a rage that consumes my daily being, engaging all of my emotional faculties at once save one single coherent thought amidst all the noise, that I would be alone, all alone for the rest of my life. This single thought, resting in the back of my head, makes me think of a comet descending from the heavens burning into nothingness in the atmosphere, claiming its pyrrhic victory against the mighty earth, knowing full well that it, like many other comets, will pass away without ever touching the ground, without ever making its mark upon the world. This thought of all those comets burning daily in our atmosphere makes me weep a single tear, brushed aside as I post on this webpage.