Author Topic: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.  (Read 14497 times)

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Offline Rin

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Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« on: May 01, 2009, 03:42:36 AM »
HAI THAR! I just wrote this one crappy engrish fic out of pure boredom. It's not even funny, but tak a look anyway, k?


---------------

Zero was walking through the Maverick Hunters HQ. It was just a moment ago, when he finished perfecting his perfect hair. He was such a perfect Maverick Hunter in every aspect. Unlike that lame ass Axl.

Axl: You are a [Top Spin], Zero.

That's what Zero heard when he walked into FUN & GAMES room. Axl and some hunter were playing poker. There was a huge mountain of money on the Axl's side of the the table. It was obvious that the unnamed hunter was losing... badly.

Zero: What the [tornado fang]... did you just said to me? - Said Zero walking up to the table.
Axl: That you are a [Top Spin].
Zero: OH? And why is that?
Axl: Isn't the answer obvious? You spend so much frickin' time doing your hair, and you almost always make PERVERTED noises while doing so. If that's not a trait of a humongous [Top Spin], I don't know what is.

Zero's eye twitched. It was obvious that young and unexperienced boy that was sitting before him, had no idea what it really means to take care of your own hair. So, the obvious course of action would be educating Axl.

Zero: Listen Axl. You must know, that taking care of one's own hair doesn't make anyone a [Top Spin]. It just shows that you're a person who loves his hair and wants it to look clean. It shows that you are a caring person.
Axl: Whatever, [Top Spin].

Zero's eyes narrowed. He considered for a moment punching Axl right in the face, but in the end, he decided to act like a Reploid with good manners and just turned around to leave the room. However...

Axl: Oh, and I'm not the only one who thinks that, Zero. EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE HQ thinks the same. That you are a [Top Spin].

Zero's eyes widened in shock for a moment. But he just walked out of the room trying to ignore what Axl just said.

*  *  *

Zero: Say, Alia. I have a question.

Zero walked up to Alia, who was sitting at her usual post in the Navigation room.

Alia: Yes, Zero? What's up?
Zero: Well... I wanted to ask... if maybe... by any chance you think... that... I'm gay?

After these words were spoken, there was horrible silence. Alia was just staring at Zero blankly, clearly not being sure of what just Zero asked. After a five minute long silence, Alia put her head down and turned it a little to the left.

Alia: Ummm... well... I mean... you know... you sometimes... while doing your hair... you ummm... and you know.
Zero: Just tell me. Do you think I'm gay?
Alia: Yes.

After that blunt reply there was another long silence.

Zero: I see.

Zero turned around and left the room.

* * *

When Zero was going through the hallways of the HQ, he was slowly losing it. He thought that every hunter he passed by, was looking at him strangely... almost as if they too thought he was gay. Then, he heard familiar voices talking... and then he heard one of them saying “You know what Zero asked me today?”. Zero sneaked near the place the talk was taking he place. It was Alia and X.

X: What did Zero ask you?
Alia: He asked me if I think that he's gay.
X: What. And what did you reply?
Alia: Well... obviously yes. I mean, how could I lie to him?
X: That's mean! Zero is not gay!

“Yes! That's my X! Tell her!” Thought Zero. He knew that his dear friend X would not disappoint him.

Alia: Do you seriously think he's not?
X: Actually... well... okay, he's horribly gay.

Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2009, 07:49:05 AM »
That was an interesting read...
Poor Zero... Even X says so... XD

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Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2009, 08:38:34 PM »
The Exciting Story of Megaman Y!

Y grabbed his beam saber. He felt that there was a Maverick nearby, thanks to his magical powers. He got up from the ground, on which he was laying because he lost 2 cents and tried to find them, and started carefully watching his surroundings.

Then, suddenly, from the bushes jumped out Maverick known as Double. Y did a quick movement with his hands, and Double was cut in four pieces.

"That will teach you to stop sneaking up on somebody." Said Y and laughed proudly.

BUT THEN, SUDDENLY, from the bushes behind Y came out X and Zero.

"I expected you guys to show up sooner or later." Said Y and turned around.

"What the... he looks just like you X, except, more cool."

That was indeed true. Y looked just like X, except, more cool. He was all black and gothic and stuff, while X was lame-ass blue like a hedgehog(GET IT?).

"Who are you?" Asked surprised X "I've never seen you here before!"

"I'm Y, and I'm your brother X."

"NO IT CANNOT BE!" Said shocked X.

"X's brother?!"

"Yes. I have been created by Dr. Light, but I was never finished. Then after Zero killed Megaman and others I was found by Dr. Wily and finished to be better than you both combined. I was created to kill the entire world dead. However I rebelled against Dr. Wily, killed him then sealed you Zero away. I've been living and hiding from people for all these years, but I'm showing up now because something evil approaches!"

"WHAT EVIL?!" Asked bothe Zero and X together surprised.

"THE LIGHT VIRUS!"

DUM DUUUM DUUUUM! What will happen next? Don't miss the next episode of this exciting fanfiction!

Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2009, 03:13:20 PM »
Light Virus?
THAT DOUCHEBAG!!! *shakes fist*

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Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2009, 12:20:03 PM »
Okay, guize. I tried writing a serious story in english. I will present you with the results, and you will tell me about all the mistakes, I'm mostly worried about grammar, and stupidly written sentences. It's not very long, so give it a read, k?


It's based in my own world, and I actually have many characters and stories made up and prepared long ago. So I might continue this.

Still, it didn't turn out exactly how I imagined.

Anyway HERE IT IS:

(click to show/hide)

Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2009, 02:41:44 PM »
Well, it's pretty good actually, nice flow.
There were a few missing words here and there, but overall, nice read.

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Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2009, 07:01:33 PM »
Well, it's pretty good actually, nice flow.
There were a few missing words here and there, but overall, nice read.
Thanks, Wily. You're the only one here who seems to give a crap about my writing(either that, or they just found even this story so atrocious, that it wasn't worth commenting on). Your thread of creative works has been added to my "to check out" list, tough I did plan to check it out eventually. : P

Also, I added a little thing in the story at a certain moment, it makes more sense with that addition. It's about force of Natevurus' punches, and how he managed to hurt Santz through his armor.

Offline Cpie

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2009, 08:47:59 PM »
I don't know why you don't get much reviews, but that often happens in RPM.
 I really loved the first one cause I really didn't expect the ending.

 The second one reminded me of "teh bonking", because it's another fic mocking all dumb stuff fan(girsl especially) can write in their fics. Of course, I liked it.

 The third one was interesting and well written despite some mistakes here and there. But overall, pretty good.

 Keep up writing!

Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2009, 02:26:17 AM »
Also, I added a little thing in the story at a certain moment, it makes more sense with that addition. It's about force of Natevurus' punches, and how he managed to hurt Santz through his armor.
Hmm... I see.
Then again, I always thought of Light and Dark neutralising each other at plot juntures... XD

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Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2009, 12:08:16 PM »
Asena: Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it really. : >

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF MY STORY! I kind of rushed this one, because in the third one there will be the bestest of things... I think so. Also, this story has a title now.

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Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2009, 02:47:56 PM »
Well, the general flow is still good, though the last few paragraphs/lines started to show a bit of inconsistences, like missing words, and a bit of grammar.
Still, nice job.

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Offline Gotham Ranger

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2009, 12:53:33 PM »
Hmm.. There's room for improvement. Not trying to say it harshly. It's mainly pacing and such. This Ultimania stuff seems to be coming out of nowhere. Completely disconnected from everything else going on in the given situations. A white knight who wants to be God suddenly going OH SNAP ULTIMANIA and then this Selerina chick dishing out info after fighting like that.. I might also suggest finding another name for Ultimania.. Its not very good and it seems more less a rip off of Ultimecia from Final Fantasy 8.

Other wise, I think you have something here. Grammar could use work. You seem to jump between two different perspectives at times..

Quote
Salazar is dressed in a long red unbuttoned leather jacket with black leather pants. Under the jacket, there he has a black shirt. His bush of long black hair moves with every breath of the wind. On his face there is his standard cocky smile.

Evena on the other hand, is dressed in a blue silk jacket with yellow laces. and with light-brown pants. Under the jacket there she has a white shirt. She has long red hair, that symbolizes the fact that she is a magician who uses mostly fire magic. Unlike Salazar, she rarely smiles and has usually a very bored look on her face.
This has a more.. You're there as it's happening vibe. You're experiencing it right now.

Quote
Just then, a huge beam of light hit right into the circle, destroying the the tree completely. Selerina screamed in agony and there was a huge explosion, however only inside the magic circle. Evena who was previously standing on the top of a building, walked toward Salazar who who admiring the destruction that was brought down by her spell.
See the difference with the above quote? The tense and such?

It'll be interesting to see how it turns out. Writing, like most everything else, is something you can only improve upon through practice. Constructive criticism helps point you in the direction you need to go. So good luck with it!

Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2009, 06:35:43 PM »
Gotham: Yeah, I noticed that there was a problem with tenses. I will try to work on it with the upcoming chapters. I more or less got rid of this problem when I write in Polish.

As for the plot, yeah, right now all the things you mentioned do not make much sense. There's however a reason behind both Santzudan's and Selerina's stupid actions. I will not reveal it now, because it's to be revealed in the story, but I promise that everything will make sense soon.

This story serves me as a training and setting everything up, before I get into the first real story arc, "The Lord of the Dark Tower".

As for the name Ultimania, well... yeah. When I found out there's already a witch like chara with name "Ultimecia", I wanted to change Utlimania's name. In the end, I decided not to, because it was hard for me to let go of a name I already made for a chara long time ago. I made it up with the thought of Ultimate + Mania(polish word meaning obsession, which relates to her character). Therfore Ultimania.

Anyway, thanks for the tips and overall for leaving a comment in my thread here. : >

Posted on: September 29, 2009, 17:18:35
Because suddenly I'm in the mood for writing retarded parodies, I present you with this story. I know it might look more lame than funny, but whatever.

Enjoy(?)!

(click to show/hide)

Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #13 on: September 29, 2009, 06:57:04 PM »
... I am so confused...

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Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2009, 07:24:04 AM »
So after that atrocity I've written before, I return to bring you a sequel to the very first thing posted in this thread, and that is the Megaman X fanfic. It's very short, just like original. Not very funny, but the previous one wasn't either.

OH WHAT THE HECK, HER YOU GUYS GO:

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Offline Night

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2009, 08:07:14 AM »
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2009, 03:08:59 PM »
Bravo Zero... Bravo. XD

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Offline Cpie

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #17 on: October 08, 2009, 11:49:43 PM »
Awesome! XD

Quote
There was darkness all around him, because it was night and his lights were off

 hahaha it's like "sparkling lavender that sparkled a lot"

Very nice mmx fic.

 The fic right before the mmx fic was wierd, I didn't get it much, So I can't properly review it. :/

 And I still need to read another text here, so I'll review it when I read it :)

Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2009, 10:04:50 AM »
The fic right before the mmx fic was wierd, I didn't get it much, So I can't properly review it. :/
The thing with that one was, that it wasn't a fic but an "original" story parodying shitty stories about dem chosen ones.
It was also based a bit on a story my friend Norvel wrote once upon a time(which wasn't really THAT bad, it's just that there was so many cliche things, that you could almost choke on them).

Anyway, here i bring you a Rockman.EXE fanfic, set in no particular universe. Let's say it's my own universe that takes inspiration from games, manga and animu.
Tough you won't learn much about it, since it's only a prologue, and I wrote it quite long time ago. To see if I can write something in english. Anyway, here you go.
If I get positive feedback, and see that you guys like it, I might write more. Anyway, HERE IT IS:

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Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2009, 03:30:20 PM »
Looks surely are deceiving...

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Offline Cpie

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2009, 11:00:10 PM »
Indeed.. Very nice !

Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2009, 01:11:07 PM »
Okay. This time I wrote a longer fanfic, taking in place in classic series. Once again, it's my own universe, so few things go differently there(things from few games for example never happened).

It will be a series... I think. We will see.
I will be trying to write this half-jokingly, half-serious. Let's see how will this turn out.

Have at you!
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C&C much appreciated.

Offline Dr. Wily II

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #22 on: October 16, 2009, 02:45:38 PM »
Well, I'm pretty intrigued with this plot for now, another Copy Rockman, but this time, a fully loyal one...
This should prove interesting.

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Offline Cpie

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #23 on: October 16, 2009, 09:34:00 PM »
He's a genius indeed! XD

Interesting, keep it up!

Offline Rin

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Re: Kharaxel's crappy engrish writing.
« Reply #24 on: October 18, 2009, 09:23:05 PM »
Thanks for the comments, guize.

Now, I will present you with another original story. I'm more serious about this one, than about the previous one I presented here. Some of it was translated from Polish, the part that was written, that is. Rest was finished in english.

I'm trying to go for something different with this one, which should be really noticed with the next chapter. Okay, ENJOY!

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