Fing fingered the empty ashtray and scoured it for ashes, but it was empty, thus there were none. Fing sighed and rolled himself a cigar, dipped the tip in brandy, lit it up and smoked it with petulant pride. Klum sat opposite him, agitatedly fiddling his hands against the legs of the table. The clock made a tick tick tock sound in the background and Fing glared at it, thus it stopped the tick tick tock.
I suppose you'll be going back to the store soon, drolled Fing aloud, gazing at Klum on the opposite end of the opposite table in the room opposite the room opposite this one. Klum raised his eyes to meet his friend and shook his head with a shake shake shake motion.
No and nay and never, replied Klum, not until that damned thing leaves and returns no more.
Are you sure you're not just seeing things, queried Fing, puffing on his cigar and sipping his brandy, tipping the ashes into the ashtray which wasn't empty anymore.
If I see what I feel and feel what I see, then I see pain and feel despair, sighed Klum despondantly. Fing tipped the ashes in the ashtray into his mouth, took a sip of brandy, swilled the ashes around in his mouth and spat the whole lot back into the once more no longer empty ashtray.
Then, sir, you are mad.
I am not mad!
But you are.
I assure you I am not!
Then, mused Fing, prove it.
I shall, harumphed Klum with a haughty harumph, I have recorded all the sightings in my journal, which I will now go and fetch for you.
And so fetch it he did, with a fetch fetch fetch and a here here here.
Here here here! Look upon my writings and tell me I am mad!
Sir, you are indeed mad, said Fing, and pointed at the paper upon which there were no writings at all.
But that cannot be, spat Klum, it cannot be for I wrote everything down just the other night and then some before that and some after that!
Fing poured himself another glass of brandy and tipped his ashes into the glass, which he then gulped down in one swift go. His glass eye rolled around in its socket, with a rooooooooooooll and he smiled.
Then, sir, would you care to tell me what it is you saw with your own two eyes that you have on you?
Indeed and I shall, smugged Klum smugly, it was a long creature, about the length of a man's arm, longer than a cat but shorter than a snake, and it was a colour I know to be somewhere between orange and red, indeed it was of that very colour that I just said. There was many a spike along the thing's back, all turned upwards like your mustache just there, and it had claws too. Yes, these claws numbered how many umbers I cannot remember to number, but there were quite a few.
So, interjected Fing with his brandy and cigar, it was like a lizard?
No, droned Klum, nothing like a lizard, actually. It was more like...a thing.
A thing?
Yes, a thing. I know of no other words that could describe what I saw.
What else had it?
Eyes, many eyes, said Klum with truth and truthfulness in his voice of voices, and many more teeth than a man like you or I have. Indeed it had many eyes and many teeth. It coiled out from beneath my chair whenever it did appear and grinned at me, looking at me with all of its many eyes, and it was so grotesque a thing to behold that I immediately closed my eyes and when I opened them once more it was gone.
Gone?
Gone.
You, sir, laughed Fing with a laugh laugh laugh, are mad as the proverbial hatter.
I am not and indeed I am not, snapped Klum visciously. He stopped his nervous groping of the table legs and stood up from his seat. Now the clock started to go again, this time with a tock tock tick. Fing eyed his opposite man curiously and warily, dropping his cigar into his next glass of brandy and rooooooooooolling his glass eye around in his head.
You are a madman, chided Fing coldly, mad and mad and yet mad again!
I am not mad!
But you are! There is no thing!
There is, and indeed I saw it!
Liar! A madman and a liar you are!
Still your tongue!
I should shoot you with my gun here and now, you foolish madman!
Quiet, I say!
Fing, too, got to his feet and threw his glass of brandy from the table. You are a madman and an idiot, a fool and a madman is what you are!]
Klum could take no more. He screamed to drown out the chides and taunts of Fing, then like a madman indeed, ran and grabbed the poker from the fireplace.
A madman and yes indeed I am, cried Klum. Feng reached down with a reach for his gun to shoot Klum, but already it was too late. Klum drove the poker through Feng's body and Feng, with his last breath calling Klum a foolish madman, fell to the floor. His glass eye fell from his head and rolled forward to the feet of Klum, wielder of the bloody fireplace poker. When he saw what he himself had done indeed, Klum fell to his knees and wept.
I am a fool and a madman indeed, cried he.
The thing, coiling around the leg of the table, looked up and gave him a grotesque grin.
It was done.
A fool and a madman indeed.
Tock tock tick.
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