I was looking through some of my stuff when I came across some poetry I wrote. And now you all get to read it. Lucky you.
The Heron In The TreeThere's a tree in my back garden,
It's just atop the hill,
And whenever I'm feeling curious,
Then visit it I will.
Inside this tree, you see,
There lives a heron wise.
He has a crooked golden beak,
And shiny silver eyes.
This heron's not afraid to tell me things
That others would forbid,
I've come to him to seek advice
Ever since I was a kid.
So one day I pine for knowledge,
And I trudge up my back yard.
The heron is there, but he's quite sad,
He'd lost his Dixons card.
"Oh my," said I,
How terrifyingly foul."
"Indeed," said he,
"It was taken by the owl!"
"The owl?" I asked, amazed,
"But he's such a lovely chap!"
"Oh don't buy that, you fool,
He's completely full of crap!
The bastard stole my card,
And the price for it he'll pay:
Ten thousand euroes, cash,
Now what have you to say?"
Long and hard I pondered this,
I thought of Mr. Owl...
Perhaps it was in fact Mr. Duck,
The greedy waterfowl?
"If to pay me back he fails,"
The bitter heron said,
"Then by all that's good and fair,
You will pay me back instead!"
At this comment I was shocked,
And quite rightly, too.
What would you have done
If a bird said that to you?
"Right, you prick," I snapped,
And grabbed him by the neck,
"I'll just have to cook your goose,
You sorry little wreck!"
In the tree in my back garden,
The heron spoke to me.
Until I took him out and roast his arse,
And had him for my tea.
My little town's a lovely place,
And everyone's so kind,
They're the nicest folks in all the land,
I think that you will find.
All except for Gangsta Seal,
He's not too nice at all,
He swears and spits and always makes
Prank long-distance calls.
His list of offences is long,
And quite offensive, too,
But nontheless I'll read the list,
In case he tries to get you too.
He threw an orange at a lady
Who had shopping bags to carry,
Then legally changed her name to Frank,
And her husband's name to Larry.
He made love to a fire hydrant,
Just to have a joke,
He dropped a cigarette in someone's pint,
And said he didn't smoke.
He once made fun of a Cockney man,
Which I think is terribly rude,
He ran through town once on a dare,
Whilst he was completely nude.
He stole a fellow's well-trimmed hat,
The filthy little creep,
Then drew a [ray splasher] on an old man's face,
While the old man was asleep.
He stuck gum under someone's chair,
He kicked a fluffy cat,
He then fell down a narrow hole...
And that's the end of that.
Let the Greedy covet their wares
And heed their possessions,
Their gilded souls, tainted by riches
Shall turn to rust;
Let the Gluttonous have their feast
Upon the table of avarice,
Whereupon they shall consume
And become bloated by sin;
Let the Lustful crave their pleasure
Desiring the love of the flesh,
They shall give into temptation
Their purity will fade;
Let the Slothful rest in silence
Where they speak not the word of truth,
Watch as they mourn for their spirits
Decaying over wasted time;
Let the Envious breed their spite
Upon others more endowed,
Wicked slander dancing on the tongue
Of those never truly satisfied;
Let the Wrathful feel their fury
Defiling that which is precious,
For their hands, stained by blood
Will pierce their own heart;
Let the Prideful wallow in vanity
Immersed in the tainted waters,
Drowning beneath the cackling mirror
That spoke of false glory;
Let the Sinful indulge in vice
Straying from the path of virtue,
Corrupt souls writhing in misfortune
Never knowing what it is to be loved.
Show Posts
"
