So... against my better judgement... I watched Transformers 3: Derp of the Bay
What do I think of it now that I watched it? Welll....
Since PB gave us more or less a rundown of the plot, I'll just point out in kinda sorta detail what I liked and didn't like in this movie.
I must say one thing first... I honestly believe now that this movie is BETTER than first and second. Or at least better than the second one.
Why? Well... mostly because it actually feels more like a movie about [tornado fang]ing TRANSFORMERS, because they are in MOST of the scenes.
Oh, and the battles and action are quite more appealing to me, since I at least was able to tell what is happening. Dunno, maybe I just got used to Bayism, but that's what I think.
Second... this new chick isn't THAT bad. Sure she's not the most beautiful thing in the world but... I like her more than Megan Fox.
Third... [parasitic bomb] was pretty intense with the action, and although I wasn't exactly at the EDGE OF MY SEAT, I think that it's not bad. The moment where Sentinel fucks up the NESTS HQ (or whatever that was) and goes on a rampage like a madman, was great. It just kinda made me feel all tingly inside, becauseo of how [tornado fang]ing stupid it was. I mean, he was all like: GIMME BACK MAH STUFFZ GIMME BACK MAH STUFFZ While trashing everything and everyone in sight.
Fourth... well I [tornado fang]ing loved how Sam managed to [tornado fang]ing kill Starscream. First by removing one of its eyes, and then by blowing up his head. Speaking of the eye removing.
It was hilarious. Starscream was like AAARRRRGGHHdf,dgfdgdF MY EYEEEEEE MY EYEEEEE all while Sam (played by the great actor and screamer: Shia LeBouf) hangs on a line from a grappler hook which he used to attack Screamer's eye. He's swinging around like a [tornado fang]ing marionette, while Starscream screams something abou KILLING HUMANS and MYYYY EEEE l,ald,ssald,sadlad...
So, what else did I like? Well... I liked that Sentinel Prime made Megatron his [sonic slicer]... you know, that reminds me.
At first Sentinel grinds Megatron into the ground, so to speak, with ease.
Then during the final fight with Sentinel, Optimus gets grinded into the ground AGAIN (he was grinded in earlier too) and loses his [tornado fang]ing arm. Just before Sentinel is about to finish Optimus, Megagtron shows up and GRINDS HIM into the [tornado fang]ing ground. Then Optimus, clearly battle damaged, says [tornado fang] NO to a truce with Meggy, and rips him [tornado fang]ing apart with no problem. Oh, and then he kills Sentinel by shooting him in the head... or something.
So... I don't get it. How does that work? Sentinel was clearly the stronger one, no? I get that Megatron kinda took him by surprise... but... but... how in the [tornado fang] did Optimus manage to best Megatron when he was clearly so [tornado fang]ing damaged? I mean... I know we needed some sort of conclusion... but holy [tornado fang]. If not for the fight being a tad more interesting than the one from the last movie, I could say that Michael Bay is a hack.
Owait.
Okay... so what did I not like? Well... most of the scenes with Shia Lebouf... and those other humans. Ummm... I didn't like Shockwave, he sucked.
Soundwave too... in fact, I didn't like most of the characters. I only liked Optimus Prime, actually. He was such an awesome dick (WE HID INSIDE THE SHIP AND WAITED FOR DECEPTICONS TO BARGE IN AND KILL SOME OF YOU HUMANS SO THAT WE CAN TEACH YOU A LESSON AND THEN SAVE YOU), and his bloodlust was so huge, that I couldn't help but laugh and be amazed ("WE'LL KILL THEM ALL").
Oh I also didn't like the parents and the humor. Good God, those shitty attempts at humor.
That's more or less it... I'm pretty tired right now (and still not planning to go to sleep) so excuse any errors in the above. I probably won't fix them, unless It's omsthing VERY STUPID.
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