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Pringer X · **on:** June 29, 2009, 08:46:12 PM

It's no surprise that shitty movies exist. However, sometimes they disguise themselves as rather good movies on the outside, but once you sit down in your seat to watch the movie, it just goes downhill from the opening onward. What are the movie's you've seen that you wish to warn others about?

I know it's not in theaters anymore since it got released to DVD, but if you ever wanted to see "Paul Blart: Mall Cop", forget it. The jokes are forced into scenarios that just don't work, the overall tone of the movie is just displeasing, and there are two facts that no one seems they wanted to acknowledge. First is the guy's daughter (the titular character has a kid), and she shows up at the mall after it's been taken over (like WAY after), and some how manages to bypass the cops, bypass the SWAT team, and even passes the sensors that the robbers set up over every entrance. The second is a spoiler, but it's just beyond retarded. Without saying too much if you REALLY want to know, someone does a 180 and goes from being a good guy to being a bad guy, but the whole damn scene lasts less than 5 minutes. It's right near the end of the movie, and for just 5 minutes, if that, someone makes a completely pointless scene that just doesn't do a damn thing.

Satoryu · **Reply #1 on:** June 30, 2009, 07:58:34 AM

there are probably a lot of things i've seen that would qualify as suck. i can't name a lot though. Scary Movie 4 was downright terrible, as was Epic Movie.

then again, there are movies out there that are so bad, they're enjoyable. Ferngully might be one such movie. so is Batman and Robin.

Police Girl · **Reply #2 on:** June 30, 2009, 09:38:49 AM

Quote from: Sato on June 30, 2009, 07:58:34 AM

there are probably a lot of things i've seen that would qualify as suck. i can't name a lot though. Scary Movie 4 was downright terrible, as was Epic Movie.
then again, there are movies out there that are so bad, they're enjoyable. Ferngully might be one such movie. so is Batman and Robin.

And I actually saw both of those (SM4 on Demand and Epic in theaters).

What a waste of my life.

Quickman · **Reply #3 on:** June 30, 2009, 10:02:11 AM

I liked Ferngully, at least the first one. I thought it was pretty good.

Anywho... I personally didn't care for Cloverfeild too much. I'll give the director credit with what he was trying to do, but overall, I wasn't very satisfied. Usually, I try to get a general idea on how well-received a movie is before I see it, and thus have managed to avoid seeing mind-numbingly bad movies.

borockman · **Reply #4 on:** June 30, 2009, 10:08:45 AM

Nim's Island and Gladiatress.

TeaOfJay · **Reply #5 on:** June 30, 2009, 10:16:06 AM

I can name two from the top of my head.

Dragon Ball Evolution: There was so little in common with this abortion of a movie and the original source material that it was just painful to watch. And before someone comes in here and tries to tell me that they based the movie off of DB and not DBZ *coughGaiacough*, I know that already. This movie was only similar to Dragon Ball only in name. Other than that it was completely all over the place, didn't make a lick of sense, pissed me off (Goku is the avatar, and the Kamehameha is the ultimate Air bending technique. I [parasitic bomb] you not, that part about the Kamehameha is an actual quote.), and used terms that didn't even exist in Dragon Ball. Overall it was a waste of time (even though I left early), and I was glad to have gotten my money back.

Transformers: Apparantly, there were people that found this movie enjoyable. To this, I have to ask "Just what about this movie was enjoyable?" The fights between Transformers were too far in between all the teen angst and explosions not involving Transformers I have to wonder if the Transformers were ever going to show up. Then there's the blatant advertisement in the middle of the movie. Yes, I know, the Original Transformers was made to advertise the toys and movies do tend to have some form of advertisement in them. But in the case of the original cartoon I never saw a [tornado fang]ing Moutain Dew commercial via a transforming vending machine during the cartoon with fighting trasnforming robots. Nor were the adverts in movies shoved down my throat as a scene that was never spoken of again.
Honestly, the whole thing was just the exploits of some random unpopular kid trying to get lucky with the hot popular girl, instead of the [tornado fang]ing robots that the movie was named after.
Glad to know that the second movie not only met my expectations of sucking, but surpassed them in the dumbest way possible.

Phi · **Reply #6 on:** July 01, 2009, 12:52:56 AM

Good Burger.

/topic

Solar · **Reply #7 on:** July 01, 2009, 01:03:09 AM

Quote from: LazyMan on June 30, 2009, 10:16:06 AM

Overall it was a waste of time (even though I left early), and I was glad to have gotten my money back.

I'm glad I didn't waste my money on it to watch it

Quote from: LazyMan on June 30, 2009, 10:16:06 AM

To this, I have to ask "Just what about this movie was enjoyable?"

I dunno, I somehow did. My brain must have been off at the time or I'm too easy to please. However, I fully agree with all your complains >.>

Gaia · **Reply #8 on:** July 01, 2009, 01:15:30 AM

Oh my, I remember shitty movies, so shitty, they should NEVER be mentioned, bad enough to make your ears bleed.

I'll give you something, I remember how afully generic these "Save the World" type movies were. Who here remembers Space Cowboys by any chance?

Rock Bomb · **Reply #9 on:** July 01, 2009, 01:16:58 AM

I can't think of anything since all the movies I watch aren't entirely bad, and I'm not so butthurt as to exaggerate the cons of the movies I don't like.

Well, except one...

Okay, so there's this princess movie, I can't remember the name, my little sister was watching it, but there was this princess evidently who had been placed under a curse where she had to do whatever someone, anyone for that matter, said. Around the end, which is where I walked in on the movie, the princess was chained to a tree for some reason, as so she could not warn the prince of his assassination by the jealous uncle-whatever, I can't remember exactly who he was, but he wanted the throne. Never heard that happen in a story before.
So the Fairy Godmother of the story shows up, and refuses to help the princess. Of course she just couldn't tell her godmother that the prince was going to be killed as someone probably told her not to, so the godmother had no way of knowing, but plot points that leave the her/heroin in a helpless situation really grind my gears.

Oh, and this is the best part. The plan as to assasinate the prince, as he was to be crowned king, was to poison his crown, so when he puts it on, he dies.
[spoiler]HOW THE [Tornado Fang] DO YOU POISON A CROWN?![/spoiler]
Now after the princess escapes, can't remember how, and warns the prince just as he's about to be crowned king. It's then that the evil unclewhatever, in a fit of rage of how his plan had failed, makes a statement of how he deserves to be king, and that the crown rightfully belongs to him. It's then that he puts the crown on himself, forgetting that it's poisoned, and falls to the ground.

Afterwards the prince is crowned king, the princess is married to him, and the curse is lifted, and they have a big musical number at the end, where we see the evil uncleguy in a wheelbarrel. WITH A MINOR CUNCUSSION

Pringer X · **Reply #10 on:** July 01, 2009, 04:57:18 AM

Quote from: LazyMan on June 30, 2009, 10:16:06 AM

Transformers: Apparantly, there were people that found this movie enjoyable. To this, I have to ask "Just what about this movie was enjoyable?"

I think most people had the same thought as I did and treated it like a combination of two different movies that were recorded on the same tape, just played at intermittent times. The parts without the giant robots people treated like a typical teen movie, while the parts with the Transformers was giant robots beating the [parasitic bomb] out of each other. I thought the action was good, if chaotic. Supposedly the second one is worse in that with fewer action scenes and shorter ones. Hell, the Nostalgia Critic's first video (at least on TGWTG) was about the Transformers movie and he thought it was flippin' awesome; second one got degraded to adequate. If he'd pretty much give the first movie a 10 but the second a 6 or 7, then holy [parasitic bomb] for the people thinking the first one was a 4 to 6 at most.

Zx · **Reply #11 on:** July 01, 2009, 04:59:37 AM

Quote from: Sato on June 30, 2009, 07:58:34 AM

there are probably a lot of things i've seen that would qualify as suck. i can't name a lot though. Scary Movie 4 was downright terrible, as was Epic Movie.

Disaster Movie is a lot worse.

TeaOfJay · **Reply #12 on:** July 01, 2009, 11:58:53 AM

Quote from: Pringer X on July 01, 2009, 04:57:18 AM

Hell, the Nostalgia Critic's first video (at least on TGWTG) was about the Transformers movie and he thought it was flippin' awesome; second one got degraded to adequate. If he'd pretty much give the first movie a 10 but the second a 6 or 7, then holy [parasitic bomb] for the people thinking the first one was a 4 to 6 at most.

The thing about the Critic's first video is that while he was raving about how awesome it was, he could have easily have had negative feelings for the movie. I can say without a doubt that the Critic does know quality when he sees it (I.E. He bashes the bad Nostalgic movies/shows while praising the good)That first video provided the basis for his Bum Review videos which raves about how "OOOOH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE" and at the end, you'll see a single sentence saying "But seriously, <insert movie title here> was <insert adjective here>".

And why (and how) in the blue hell would anyone treat a movie like it's two movies? A movie shouldn't be two movies at once, it should just be a single movie. It's not like everytime there isn't a Transformer on screen the movie suddenly changed titles... Or did it?

If it did, that would explain so much.

Fxeni · **Reply #13 on:** July 02, 2009, 05:10:21 AM

Transformers 2. I'll stop there before I go on a massive rant about it, because I could, and would.

Protoman Blues · **Reply #14 on:** July 02, 2009, 05:30:56 AM

Quote from: Fxeni on July 02, 2009, 05:10:21 AM

Transformers 2. I'll stop there before I go on a massive rant about it, because I could, and would.

Wait, did you see it?

Fxeni · **Reply #15 on:** July 02, 2009, 05:41:00 AM

Well, I was over at a classmate's house working on some stuff on monday, and he had acquired it, and offered to watch it. Well, I got curious as to just how bad it was, and since both of the others that were there wanted to see it, I reluctantly agreed. I would have much preferred continuing to work on my transformers level than watch that... thing.

ST Jestah · **Reply #16 on:** July 19, 2009, 08:38:48 AM

Dragon Wars

Do not. [tornado fang]ing. See it.

I warned you people.

...For those of you who appearently are too curious for your own good, let me tell you a bit about this [parasitic bomb] fest.

1st, if you have rented this movie just to see some awesome giant fire-breathing flying lizard action, you will be very dissapointed.
Very, VERY dissapointed.
The only reptiles you'll be seeing are some wierd raptor pteradactyle hybrid things (that don't breath fire), some tank amphibians that look like something outta Star Wars (that don't breath fire), and of course the "dragons"...that happen to be giant snakes...that look exaclty alike...except one is white and the other is black. (Yes, they appearently symbolize the Ying and Yang.) But it's barely noticible (Also they don't breath fire).

2nd. You see THE dragon (WHo I think doesn't breath fire either...or maybe it did, I just can't/don't want to remember), at the end of the movie.

3rd. The plot was...meh for moi...actually, is a lot less than meh, it's BLEAH-Meh....let's just say it didn't appeal to me...or the rest of my family. In short, it's a "save the world" kind of plot

3rd. There was barely any action, or what I would call action anyway. (No RPm, not that kind of action...course there wasn't any of that either...not even a hint.)

4th-It was just plain bad, it so bad, it wasn't even funny...

Course there is a worse movie...

Quarentine

It's so bad, you've probably already seen the ending once you've seen the comercial for that piece of [parasitic bomb]...and maybe when you saw the box-cover too.

Afro-Shroom · **Reply #17 on:** July 19, 2009, 08:41:20 AM

Quote from: StrangeMan on July 19, 2009, 08:38:48 AM

Quarentine

It's so bad, you've probably already seen the ending once you've seen the comercial for that piece of [parasitic bomb]...and maybe when you saw the box-cover too.

I question why they'd put the ending of the movie in the trailer it's self. >_>;

Mega Greasy Houdini Tek 54321 · **Reply #18 on:** July 19, 2009, 04:05:28 PM

Quote from: Fxeni on July 02, 2009, 05:41:00 AM

Well, I was over at a classmate's house working on some stuff on monday, and he had acquired it, and offered to watch it. Well, I got curious as to just how bad it was, and since both of the others that were there wanted to see it, I reluctantly agreed. I would have much preferred continuing to work on my transformers level than watch that... thing.

Funny thing about that.

I was forced to see the midnight showing of that new Harry Potter movie with friends, flashed my laser pointer at the movie to [acid burst] off people, yet they laughed. I fell asleep, woke up in the middle of it, thought it was Lord of the Rings. So, I get up and sneak into the Transformers movie to see how terrible it was, stayed for what, maybe 2 minutes, snuck my sorry ass back to Harry Potter fell asleep again until the last few scenes of the movie.

They spent too much time and money on Megan Fox. Oh and let's not forget the fun loving explosions!

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