Seeing as how the old one died a slow and agonizing death (and has taken on quite a funk) and we got a new Hoenn with new stuff on the horizon, I feel it's high time to bury the old Hoenn in a shallow, unmarked grave and go to the new one!
It was a pleasant and sunny afternoon outside of Littleroot Town, and we find the famed Pokemon field researcher Professor Birch out with his team, doing what he does best; studying wild Pokemon in their native habitat. With him are colleagues Professors Hemlock and Mulberry, their Pokemon lab assistant, and their financial backer as they embark on a a research breakthrough of a lifetime!
Other Trainers and Pokemon Center Nurses have spoken about a new strain of Pokerus, and for the first time, Birch was able to find a wild Pokemon population with a stable infection. Such a discovery would provide a bounty of new insight into the disease and how it affects wild Pokemon, and how such a virus would further benefit the growth and training of captive Pokemon.
With his boundless excitement, Birch and his team journeyed out to Route 101 to observe a wild pack of infected Zigzagoon. The information gleaned from such intense study would be beneficial to his academic and scientific goals, and Birch was eager to get a closer look.
Perhaps, though, he was a bit too eager.
*Professor Birch snuck through the tall grass toward the back, his camera and sound recorder in hand. His colleagues watched from a fair distance, with their Hypno lab assistant taking notes and operating additional recording equipment. Birch's face flushed with excitement as he whispered into his recorder with each careful step.*
"I'm almost to the pack now... I stand about ten feet away from them, and the alpha male has not noticed me... Their scouts have not picked up my scent... The wind is from the southeast... and blowing in my face... I can smell them, but they can't smell me... The infected members appear more aggressive than the rest... We've noticed that they will frequently battle other pack members, but these aren't dominance battles... they fight in order to bite... We believe that's how the infection is spread--through salivary contact with open wounds... The outward symptoms we've noticed were a marked increase in aggression, followed by marked fatigue; they tire easily... FLIR camera thermal imaging has also revealed an increase in body temperature..."
*As Birch was concentrating on his recording and sneaking, he didn't notice the Zigzagoon that had flanked him and approached him from behind. It hung back a few paces and kept in step, sniffing at the ground and watching intently.*
*Several yards away, the rest of his team watched and waited. Professor Hemlock looked through his binoculars, and then to Mulberry. He had certainly noticed the Zigzagoon.*
"Think we should tell him?"
*Mulberry shook his head.*
"Nah. He'll find out, won't he, Mr. P?"
*Mulberry looked over to the team's financial backer with a sly smile. He then looked to their Hypno assistant, who was seated in a folding chair, with a notebook on his lap and an audio recorder beside him. In one hand, he held a boom mic.*
*Mulberry glanced up again at Birch and the Zigzagoon, and then returned his gaze to his Hypno.*
"You're in for a treat, Prof."
*The Hypno said something that Mulberry didn't catch.*
*Back in the field, Birch was still recording when he felt a sharp nip on his rear. He leapt to his feet and whirled around, finding a growling Shiny Zigzagoon. Its teeth were bared and its fur was sticking out more than usual. With a snarl, it lunged at Birch.*
*Birch screamed like a little girl and ran around in a circle with the Zigzagoon nipping at his heels.*
"SAKUUUUUURRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HEEEELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
*On the sidelines, Hemlock, Mulberry, their Hypno, and the mysterious Mr. P all facepalmed.*