SUPAH FYTING ROHBIT, SEASON 3

Joebucks · 1588

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Offline Joebucks

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on: March 16, 2011, 09:32:26 PM


Oh goodness, what's all this?
A few months ago, my friend and I began discussing Ruby-Spears after an RVA thread. We were talking about what a shame it was that the show didn't go into a third season right when it was starting to get good. I began to figure, that WAS a shame, but who would watch Ruby-Spears Mega Man if it was any good? Not I. So one day I decided to make a fan script, completely on a damn whim. And people liked it, to my surprise. Now writing this has become one of my main hobbies, and I'm starting to pour a lot of time and effort into these, doing my best to mirror the suck of the old shows while making it better at the same time. If that makes any sense at all.

I've already made a blog and posted it a few times on the RVA threads and Mega Man Generals on /v/, but I feel I'm not getting enough input from people. That's why I'm proud to place this, my blog, on Mega Man Perfect Memories. Keep in mind, there is quite a bit of lampshade hanging, and some of the jokes tend to get a bit raw in the later episodes. Especially those from my creative consultant Spud.
Without further ado, here it is, the link to my blog.

All of the fics I want posted at the time are on there, hosted on Google Docs until I can figure out a better document hosting site.

***

COMPLETED EPISODES
Episode 1: Double Shades Double Cross
When Wily introduces a new invention, Proto does some soul searching and makes a life-altering decision
Episode 2: The Bass of the Problem
A mysterious new foe appears to challenge our heroes after the city's water is held ransom
Episode 3: Beaches and Chores
After a failed gold heist, a mysterious robot recruits Roll to help her bring down Dr. Light

IN PROGRESS
Episode 4: Our Bonefactors
Three new heroes from the frozen land of Russia join the crew to help stop Dr. Wily's death ray!




Offline Krystal

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Reply #1 on: March 17, 2011, 09:49:47 AM
Supper Flying Ribbit?

Read the entire thing. Final verdict? I liked it.

You have a solid grasp of the English language as patronising as that sounds, it's a compliment, you won't believe the amount of people who can't type in proper English despite it being their native language and your writing has a natural flow as natural as RS MegaMan gets at least.

It also made me giggle and entertained me as I read through it so I guess it retains the charm of the original.

Oh and your shameless references are completely shameless

For the first episode, I enjoyed it a lot, but Proto's Face Heel Turn felt way too forced and contrived. There should've been more plot buildup/backstory before making it happen imo.
Episode one also was in desperate need of a beta reader.
Also, I like how Good is Dumb.

Also, in the first 2 episodes, your exposition sections are a lot weaker than the action scenes. The characters feel a lot less in character and the entire sections feel dull and obligatory. This doesn't happen in the 3rd episode though, so I'm guessing that it won't be a problem.

Out of all the episodes, I think episode 2 is the weakest. It seemed like you were frustrated at your own writing and you just kept going on with the story because you had to introduce Bass into the story.
Also come to think of it, aren't you giving us a bit too much fanservice? =w=;a Well, I guess your version is pretty much what fans want...which is a good thing, I guess...

Oh yeah! The episodes feel a bit long~ I'm not exactly too sure how long they would be, but that's just how I feel. You can see approximately how long they would be if you cleaned up the script a bit (not saying they're bad, just that as a professional script you wouldn't want to have your own discussions in the middle of it) and used it in a professional script format. In that way, 1 page will be 1 minute, and you can see how long your script is.



Offline Joebucks

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Reply #2 on: March 17, 2011, 11:48:58 PM
Oh, wow, thanks a ton. Yeah, I was worried about length of these at first, but although I want this to be close to the show, I wanna keep them long. The other thing is that while I understand that having conversations in the middle of the text seems pretty unprofessional, but I assure you, that it is and I will not be changing it.

Okay enough of me being a douche. I see where you're coming from with the fanservice, and I'm gonna try to cut down the really blatant stuff, but at this point I'm trying to do two things: Introduce characters that will never show up again and blatantly sell toys. Toys that don't exist. God I am just going far with my life, aren't I? But still, if it doesn't reach a plateau by episode 5 I'll hit myself in the back of the head with a ball peen hammer, I promise.

And, you know, I was actually scared that my exposition was going to take away from the action scenes after shotgunning a few episodes of R-S one day. I... Don't quite know what to think any more. Thanks a ton for your input, this is actually the first broken down commentary I've ever had on this. Other than from Spud but he just wanted more shots of Roll's ass.




Offline Align

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Reply #3 on: March 18, 2011, 07:09:49 AM
It looks pretty entertaining. Didn't see the originals when they aired (did see them on youtube more recently), but this seems to be on the same level while also adding new stuff to keep our attention.
Also, http://i56.tinypic.com/18lnom.jpg