Author Topic: adventures in getting a guy arrested  (Read 5017 times)

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Offline Stainless

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adventures in getting a guy arrested
« on: November 03, 2009, 05:54:06 AM »
Welcome to Interventions. Someone who cares about you has sent you this link because you are drinking too much/use drugs to avoid pain/talk like a baby when addressing animals/use idiot marketspeak like 'massclusive'/are bad at the sex/give shitty presents/order foreign food items using the pronunciation of their country of origin/use transparent techniques to try and hide the fact you're smelling your finger/laugh by yourself in order to get attention/are too touchy-feely/are physically distant/wear those rubber looking shoes with holes in them. But don't worry we like you, we'd just like a different you even more.

Are all the idiots gone yet?

Good day everyone who doesn't hate me for existing and actually read instead of skimming and thinking that i am a substanceless douche, yes yes. Get yourself a pair of fluffy slippers and a big glass of milk because I'm gonna feed you a big slice of life with pink icing and sprinkles on the top.

I work retail, in a clothing store inside a really big, 4-floors mall that has a food court that reminds me of a spaceship. This mall is situated in downtown Montreal, and like in any very urban areas you get your share and a half of crazy people.

Now that the setting is established, onward we skip now, to an EPIC TALE.

An adventure vignette.

An unsettling anecdote.

A tale of mild bravoury.

An old-fashioned jaunty yarn told to the tune of Whiskey in The Jar.

Okay, a boring story.

The store I work in is a woman's clothing outlet, full of colorful and sometimes glittery outfits. So when a big guy with a black beanie, leather coat and a tattoo on the side of his neck walked in alone, I got a little beacon of caution blinking in my head. At this point I am standing behind the counter, at the cash register. He walks up to me, pretends to look at the mannequin next to me. I see him throwing obvious glances at the cash register, and he asks me suddenly if I can get  him a dress in a specific size, conveniently hung at the exact opposite end of the store. And it's my job, and I have nothing credible to support my beliefs that this guy is a total turdblossom. So I do as he says. But keep my attention at its peak.

Obviously, the moment he came to the conclusion that I was far away enough for his tastes, I heard the sound of the cash register opening. I turn around, and catch the dude red-handed in poorly executed theft. There aren't any other customers in the store.

So I stare.

And walk out of the store in silence.

And locked him in like in a little glass cage full of pritty pritty lady's clothing.

Turns out, that guy stole money from two stores in the mall before coming here. The security agents were looking for him already.

Twas pretty rad to see him getting manhandled.

I'm kinda glad this happened, working monday evenings is normally boring as hell.

Offline ಠ_ಠ

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2009, 05:57:57 AM »
Think you could get a clip from the security camera archive that shows the look on his face when you caught him?
Previously Zerokun.
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Offline Protoman Blues

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2009, 05:59:57 AM »
Quite a story.  Some would call you a hero!

Not me though, I love Krusty!

Offline Flame

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2009, 06:00:33 AM »
Yknow, I like you. You are a very interesting character...

Also, wow, so you just locked him in the store? That... That's awesome. Boy he must have felt embarrassed to get trapped like that.
...When Larry the reploid accountant goes maverick of his own accord, he's certainly formidable during tax season, but he isn't going to provide X the challenge needed to make him grow as a warrior and reach his potential.

Offline Sky

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2009, 06:00:56 AM »
This is the best thing I read all day.
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Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2009, 06:01:22 AM »
We don't have any security cameras, it's pretty retarded. Anyone could steal [parasitic bomb] from this goddamn store, I just think they don't really care because it's all inventory surplus and outdated fashion.

I guess you could say it is poorly run but it makes for the best work conditions ever.

Offline Harruhy

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2009, 06:02:32 AM »
And locked him in like in a little glass cage full of pritty pritty lady's clothing.

Brilliant.

Offline Flame

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2009, 06:02:56 AM »
How many people actually go there on average?
...When Larry the reploid accountant goes maverick of his own accord, he's certainly formidable during tax season, but he isn't going to provide X the challenge needed to make him grow as a warrior and reach his potential.

Offline Sky

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2009, 06:06:24 AM »
inventory surplus and outdated fashion
you mean "affordable"
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Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2009, 06:10:00 AM »
Flame: Quite a lot actually! Since, like forementionned, it's surplus and outdated stuff, we have crazy unexpensive prices. 3.99$, 5.00$, 9.99$, 15.00$... Given you're a rather small-sized lady (we have quite a low obesity rate in Quebec so we tend to only have XS to L-sized clothing in ladies' stores), you can pretty much get a whole new wardrobe for under a hundred bucks.

People like saving money.

Plus, shopping in a huge clusterfuck of barely organized huge amounts of clothings is like going on a scavenger hunt! Feels kinda rewarding when you do find something that fits you well.


pianochan: Exactly. Thriftstore shopping r' us. I also did get a whole lot of my furniture from the garbage. Working in that store is a real pleasure and I will be giving it a big yes yes.

Offline Flame

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2009, 06:14:40 AM »
Flame: Quite a lot actually! Since, like forementionned, it's surplus and outdated stuff, we have crazy unexpensive prices. 3.99$, 5.00$, 9.99$, 15.00$... Given you're a rather small-sized lady (we have quite a low obesity rate in Quebec so we tend to only have XS to L-sized clothing in ladies' stores), you can pretty much get a whole new wardrobe for under a hundred bucks.
Wow.
Quite the bargain.

I must ask though, did you happen to get a look at the guys face when he discovered he was locked in?
...When Larry the reploid accountant goes maverick of his own accord, he's certainly formidable during tax season, but he isn't going to provide X the challenge needed to make him grow as a warrior and reach his potential.

Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2009, 06:17:08 AM »
It was pretty great but not as much as seeing him get manhandled seriously.

That was the absolute best.

Offline Rin

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2009, 06:21:45 AM »
Holy hell, AWESOME!
This must have been an awesome feeling, seeing him get arrested and [parasitic bomb].

Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2009, 06:29:17 AM »
It did score pretty high on the rad'o'meter

Offline Protoman Blues

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2009, 06:39:39 AM »
Closest I've come to anything like that is watching my store manager get his ass kicked while working at Hollywood Video, many years ago.

Being that I didn't like my manager, I rather enjoyed it.  However, it is kinda stupid to beat up someone on camera, as well as someone who has your name, address, home phone number, and social security number.

Offline Sky

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2009, 06:39:48 AM »
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around why someone would rob a store like that.
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Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2009, 06:40:50 AM »
Answer to wrap your mind around: He was pretty high on coke.

Offline Sky

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #17 on: November 03, 2009, 06:45:21 AM »
It's all become so clear now.
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Offline Flame

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #18 on: November 03, 2009, 06:47:12 AM »
And he wanted money to buy more crack.
...When Larry the reploid accountant goes maverick of his own accord, he's certainly formidable during tax season, but he isn't going to provide X the challenge needed to make him grow as a warrior and reach his potential.

Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #19 on: November 03, 2009, 07:36:33 AM »
It's like a vicious cycle that you sniff.

Offline Protoman Blues

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #20 on: November 03, 2009, 07:38:04 AM »
It's like a vicious cycle that you sniff.

Kinda like retail work in general.

Offline Stainless

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #21 on: November 03, 2009, 07:54:00 AM »
Aside from the fact that it feels like my feet are trying to atrociously self-deform to snuggle up a big love with the floor underneath, I actually really enjoy working retail in that store. Co-workers and customers are really cool.

Offline Protoman Blues

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #22 on: November 03, 2009, 08:08:39 AM »
Well that's always good.  Good co-workers make any job better.

Offline Keno

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #23 on: November 03, 2009, 11:04:58 AM »
And he wanted money to buy more crack.
Crack & coke are 2 very different things.

So stainless, why would you even care if someone stole from where you work?

Offline CephiYumi

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Re: adventures in getting a guy arrested
« Reply #24 on: November 03, 2009, 11:07:04 AM »
So stainless, why would you even care if someone stole from where you work?

if you are the person working the register at the time of the robbery, the boss can get mad at you ^^;